Everything Went Last

Phase 5

Phase 5

I showed him the sketch after he's done changing. The sketch was made almost 8 years ago before I said yes to him. Kaya naman pala wala iyon sa bago kong sketch pad. I still sketch, but I don't really do so much art as like before. I could still vividly remember it, but it just became a phase where I think, I should not do it anymore.

I still remember when I draw this. It was just out of nowhere. I let my imagination run through it. It was feeling the moment where I drew to people who seem so familiar to me before I knew who it was. Tila ba'y isang pangitain iyon.

"Alam mo may kwento yan. And don't you think it's familiar?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"Teka lang, ako na maghawak muna nang sketch," Sabi niya. Kaya binigay ko sa kanya ito. He's looking at the sketch intently and his eyes was turning wide. And stare at me then stared back at the sketch.

"Hindi nga?" He looks at me again still can't believe. "Sasabihin ko sanang, this was drawn after you said yes to me. Pero looking at the date. Hindi nga?" He asked like he's not believing what he is seeing. I nodded on him telling that it's real. I drew that before I said yes to him.

"Totoo ba ito?" Titig sa sketch pad. He's examining it like it was something so mystical because of how it was drawn.

The sketch was the two us. I drawn it out of no where. It was us standing under the tree, he's holding a guitar because he loves playing with it. And I was holding a cake that's the first time I baked. It was like a prediction that I will say yes to him. From what I remember that was months before, I said yes to him. Wala namang mukha it was just a silhouette of us. I know he can't believe it. This is the first time he saw it. Pero he has a painting of the exact scene, too. Pero pinagkaiba namin is he painted it after I answered him. It was actually taken picture of us from his friend.

"You drawn it before you answered me," hindi makapaniwalang saad niya. "Damn, wait I'm processing." I smiled looking at him adoringly because he's letting me see his raw emotions that's what I love about him. He's so transparent that he says what's on his mind.

"Yes, I drawn that. You want me to tell the story behind that?"

Tumango lang siya bilang tugon.

"I can't remember what the exact thing happen before I draw that. Pero ang naalala ko, sobrang saya ko noon. Kasi from what I remember we went to a summer fest." Kuwento ko. " It is one of the most memorable moments for us. Pero when I was doing that wala akong context. It just a burst of moment. Aside from that we are only friend at that time pero when you painted that. I came to think it's familiar. Then I kept on looking on it. Tapos nakita ko sa sketch pad. I came to think of it. Wow, just wow yun ang reaction ko."

Hindi pa rin siya makapaniwala. He stared at me longer. I drew it out of the blue without knowing it was us. Summer fest... people are so alive at the time the euphoric feeling that I come with it. Maybe my imagination is just in glisten of things that is outside the context.

"You should draw again. I mean, yes you still do sketching, but not as like as before," sabi niya.

"I don't know, if I should do it. I'm afraid to be honest." I told him.  Natatakot ako sa kung ano ang kalalabasan nito. My love for art never change, but my will to go back is something that is so hard to do. Pakiramdam ko'y parang isang malaking pagsubok ang gawin ulit iyon.

He put down the sketch pad. He's now extending his arms. Making a sign to go with him.

"Halika rito." He said. So I immediately went to him. He hugs me tightly. Whispered, "It's okay, take your time. Gusto ko ulit makita kitang gumuhit. Pero kung hindi mo pa gusto at natatakot ka pa, sige matakot ka lang. Nandito parin ako hindi titigil hintayin kang gumuhit muli." Dahil alam niya na ito ang una kong minahal at nanalantay sa akin ang pagmamahal ko sa sining.