Everything Went Last

Phase 8

Phase 8

My back hurts.

Natapos na rin ang office hours. And my back hurts because I just stayed in my seat for too long. It's normal that your back will hurt because being in your seat for so long. Lalo na't walang exercise ang katawan.

I like my work really, but I don't think it's the way I should fall in love with it. Ang hirap kapag alam mo sa sarili mo you can do much better than it. I did what I should be doing as an employee, kung hindi ko gagawin iyon ay baka mas lalo pa akong mahirapan lalo pa't alam na alam ko na hindi ko maipapasigurado kung kaya kong gawin sa tamang oras. I mean, I could do it. It was just that my heart was not for it. It feels like there's a void in me that I don't know what can fill it.

Hindi naman ako magrereklamo na masakit likod ko kung gustong-gusto ko ang ginagawa ko. Mangangalay lang pero tutuloy pa rin ako dahil yun ang kagustuhan ko. I would be talking how I should rest dahil marami pa akong kayang gagawin, pero iba yun dito sa aking ginagawa. I like this, but it feels like I'm just doing it because I needed to.

Oh, gosh! I should get going, I still have a long day.

Agad akong bumababa sa aking office at nagpunta sa aking kotse. Nang biglang magring ang aking cellphone. I look at the caller's ID. It was mommy, agaran ko itong sinagot. Pumasok na'ko sa aking kotse at inandar ito. Agad kong ni-loud speaker ang aking cellphone to answer her call.

"Hello my!" Masayang bati ko.

"Hi, little Pixie! I just called to inform you about your sister's rendezvous. Nakakasakit sa ulo, Kaye Arvie!" Reklamo ni mommy sa akin.

"What did she do?" I asked curiously.

"Kitana making my head ache. She's going somewhere na di man lang nagpapaalam. I could let her go wherever she wants, I won't bug her pero knowing bata pa siya. And she's still our baby," nag-aalalang tugon niya.

"She's already in the right age, ma. Let her. As long as she goes home safe... I'm fine with it," sabi ko.

"Iyon na nga problema, little Pixie! Our Wendy coming home na may kalmot sa kanyang cheeks. I could let her do what she wants pero hindi naman sinasabi ni Kitana saan niya iyon nakuha." She said, "I wouldn't react like this if I know her whereabouts."Medyo naiinis na saad ni mommy dahil isa pa hindi naman ganoon si Kitana.

"Oh, kanina mo lang napansin?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Yes, because ngayon lang naman siya umuwi from her dorm. Miss ko na kayong dalawa. Tapos makikita kong may kalmot siya." Nag-aalalang saad niya.

I know Mommy is worried about Kitana. She's hard-headed sometimes and very strong-willed. Ayokong isipin that she got those because she went in a fight na hindi naman malabo na nangyari iyon... because of her personality na lalaban siya kung alam niyang tama siya. 

But that doesn't mean that she's the bad one. Hindi iyon magkakaroon nang ganoon kung walang nangyaring away. She's not secretive, and she went home maybe because she wants comfort from mom. I know she won't tell her about that because as we grow up, we're getting shy of the things we used to. Pero para sa akin ayos lang kung nakagawian mo na. But Kitana wasn't like that.

Nagmamaneho na ako patungo sa aking apartment.

"Sige my... I'll call her..." sabi ko sa kay mommy after talking about Kitana.

I slowed down my car to look at my contacts. After, I found Kitana's name agad ko itong tinawagan. After two rings. She already answered.

"Kitana Adrianne..." Tawag ko sa kanya so that she knew that this is serious.