Love Me Again

Chapter 3- This Isn't Possible

Dan's POV-
I wasn't sure what had just happened, but I knew I had to get away. I knew I couldn't stay standing there forever yet I could not move; I was frozen in shock. Words could not explain how I felt, so instead I used actions and crumbled to the floor in despair, my eyes burning. I would not cry. Not again. No. But one little tear escaped and then another and a third and fourth until they all came and I was scolding myself. I was in a public place; passerbys would think I was a baby. I had to go somewhere, but where? I had been planning to spend some time with Phil's family, but I couldn't now. Not after what had just happened. He probably thought I was a weirdo with no life now- to him I was no longer his best friend. I was no longer anyone to him.
Time passed and the sun set and still I continued to stare into space with my face wet. An ache in my chest made up my mind that I should probably go somewhere that was not a cold park and that was not the Lester house either. But where was what I wanted to know. Could I catch the next train home? When was that? I had no wifi, so I could not look. The day just got better and better.
"Are you ok?" A voice asked from behind, unfamiliar and quiet. I didn't respond and instead dug out my money from my pocket and ran out of the park, trying not to let people see my distraught face.
The train station came into view and I burst through the doors whilst tripping up over my own feet. Typical clumsy me. There was a train but it was not mine so I sat down to check the times. A train to London was due in thirty minutes. Enough time to pay for tickets and grab something to eat, despite the fact that I wanted to throw up. Phil didn't remember me. To him I was a stranger- a nobody. I was just one person out of 7 billion.
"Dan, wait!" Someone called as I was qeueing up for a ticket. "Dan, don't leave yet!" It was Mr Lester, running to catch up with me. His ginger hair had grey streaks in it and his grey eyes were wide. He looked breathless. "My god, you run fast."
"Sorry, sir." I mumbled, not moving from my spot. "I'm going home now."
"I know Phil can't remember you," he sighed, "but come back to our's and we can talk about this. Mrs Lester is currently telling Phil all about you and showing him the videos-"
"You mean our collabs?" I asked, rolling my eyes. "You can show him them by all means, but I'm going. I can't bear my best friend not knowing who I am." My voice had begun to tremble, as had my legs. "Goodbye sir."
"Dan, you look terrible. Come with me and we can give you something to eat and a bed to sleep in."
"I'm not homeless." I snapped, a bit too harshly for Mr Lester pursed his lips, almost admitting defeat. "I'm sorry. I'll come." Why did I just agree? Now I have to spend a night in the same house as Phil. Could I manage that?
"Okay." Mr Lester and I headed back to his house in an awkward silence, and when we walked in I was met with Mrs Lester's arms around me. I stiffened at human interaction and she pulled away with a motherly smile.
"Oh Dan, you look like Hell. We have leftover pizza if you want some." Without waiting for an answer, she rushed into the kitchen and bought out a plate with three slices of pizza and a handful of chips on it. She set it down on the table and I dug in, aware of how hungry I was. The sick feeling gone, I finished and sat back with a satisfied sigh.
"Thank you so much, Mrs Lester." I croaked, but talking made me want to cry more and I closed my mouth. I couldn't hold all of the tears in.
"Poor Daniel." She stroked my hair as if I was her son, and a twelve year old one. "Phil's in his room; he doesn't know what to do with what I told him. I think he may be watching the Pinof videos."
I nodded and wiped my eyes. "Should I go up to him?"
"If you want to honney."
"I will." I decided.
Phil's POV-
I had just finished watching Phil Is Not On Fire 6 when there was a knock on the door. Expecting my mum, I told her to come in and resumed my cross-legged position on the bed.
The person that walked in was not my mum but Dan, his shoulders hunched and his face wrecked: pale, tear-stained and exhausted. He looked extremely awkward yet like he wanted to say something. I sat on the edge of the bed and stared into his lovely brown eyes, thinking about all of those videos I had watched. We had been best friends. We had had fans and we had been famous. We had been Dan and Phil. Yet nothing inside me stirred. Nothing made me want to run into his arms, nor remember him. He was still a stranger; a broken-hearted one that had meant everything to me for seven years of our lives. Not anymore.
"Hey," he whispered, licking his lips anxiously. I could sense his discomfort and pain but I did not smile at him or move from my seat. "It's me again. Your mum told you who I was?"
"Yeah." I replied, remembering how my mum had sat me down and started with: 'Dan meant everything to you, and vice versa.' After that I had barely listened to her as she spoke. Having a friendship that strong seemed impossible. "Danisnotonfire, my best friend."
His eyes brightened. "You remember?"
I shook my head without emotion and he bit his bottom lip. He looked as if he wanted to cry but had no tears left. "No, sorry. This Pinof thing... we did it every year?"
"It was like a celebration of our friendship. We filmed the first one the day after we met in person." Dan mumbled, still standing in the doorway. I had no intention of telling him to come in as I did not know him, and, as mean as it sounds, I do not allow anyone in my room, not even apparent best friends. "We moved to London together, too-"
"So I've spent most of my adult life with you?" I asked curiously.
Dan nodded. "The fans would ship us. We were phan, with a 'ph', and we had a phandom. People wrote phanfics about us, with smut and-" he stopped himself at my confused look. "You don't know what any of these words mean, do you?"
"Nope." I replied. "Listen, I know you were my best friend but I don't know you so can you, like, leave please?"
Dan's face shattered but he nodded and edged out, making sure to close the door on the way. I sat there in silence for a while, thinking about whether I had been too harsh. He was obviously going through bad times, and now that I've left him his life must literally be Hell. I should go and apologize. I should let him know I didn't hate him; it'd just take time for me to get used to him. We could become friends at least, but best friends? He didn't seem like the type of person I'd even talk to never mind being really close. But I would give him a chance. From the looks of it, not many people gave him chances. I just had to think of a way to apologize without making it look like I wanted to be his best friend. If somehow I started to remember him then I'd decide for myself what I wanted to do.
I'd fix Dan's world, because by the looks of how happy I was in the videos he had fixed mine. I owed him that much.