Love Me Again

Chapter 21- Friends

Dan's POV-

The day for us to leave crept closer and closer until we had one night left. We spent it dining at a resturant with a name I could not pronounce nor read with Ellyse and Caitlin who had been so kind and helpful to us that we had decided it was only fair to pay them by buying their dinner. During our time together, we had found out they were poor so they hardly ever went to resturants, especially fancy ones. Phil and I payed for their meal since we had tons of Japanese money- yen- left plus desert which was ice cream with strawberry sauce and sprinkles in a fancy glass. Almost like a sundae back in London.

"We cannot thank you enough!" Caitlin exclaimed as she licked her glass clean. Her eyes were sparkling. "Ellyse would never admit it, but this was the most fun we have ever had."

I notcied Phil freeze and stare into space, and he only did that when a memory was coming back to him. I patiently waited whilst keeping up the chatter with the two girls who seemed to be kicking each other under the table. A thought nagged at the back of my mind that Phil was remebering the very first video we ever made together and how, at the end, I had said "this was the most fun I have ever had" and tackled him. The fangirls presumed we had kissed then, but really we had stared into each other's eyes, blushing furiously, until he had cleared his throat and I had lifted myself off him awkwardly. Oh how I had wanted to kiss him!

"Phil, can you pass me my coat please?" Ellyse asked, looking at the blank-faced Phil in confusion. "Phil? 'S'matter?"

And then Phil blinked, whipped his head towards me, called the waitress over and demanded that we pay now. Confusion swept over me, and even Ellyse and Caitlin who muttered amongst themselves, as we all watched Phil shrug on his jacket angirly and hand over his roll of yen. Once checking he had everything, we followed him outside into the chilly air (which was a massive surpirse) and I said goodbye to the girls who realized it was late and panicked. Done with the goodbyes (and getting Skype names), I noticed Phil had already began walking away, shoulders hunched forwards as if protecting a wound to his heart and hair waving in the wind. It was surprising, the sudden change in weather, but we had been inside for a while plus it was a Saturday. There was always bad weather on a Saturday.

"Phil, hold up!" I called, jogging to catch up with him. "Hey, what's up? Memory come back?"

"As a matter of fact, a memory did come back, Dan." Phil spat my name out as if it were a disease. I shrank away from his peircing glare, wondering what bad memory he possible could've remembered.

"Was it not the Phil Is Not On Fire 1?" I squeaked, trying to keep up with hid fast walking.

Phil shook his head, eyes hard. "No. That memory came back to me ages ago, if you had listened. I'm talking about 2012, Daniel. You." And he growled under his breath, shivering and hugging himself. "What the hell did you think you were doing?"

"I..." Oh god, he remembered that; the moment we had both trianed ourselves to forget. It was coming back to me. Oh no no no no. "Phil-"

"I don't want to hear it." He held up a trembling hand. "When we go home tomorrow I'm leaving, you hear me? I don't know how I ever managed to forgive you for that." We had reached the hltel and he was climbing the steps up to the doors, and it was a good job too as the rain just started. I snatched his arm and spun him around so we stood facing each other, him one step above me. It made us the same height. "Let me go, Dan."

I dropped his arm. "Phil, listen to me, please. After my explanation you can decided what you want to do and I won't stop you. But please let me explain! Please!" There was a pause so I took it as a yes and began: "You remembered me... pinning you against the wall, right?" A nod. "And- and-" I almost choked on my own spit. "And forcing myself on you?" Another nod. "Okay." I shuffled my feet nervously. "And the bed...?"

"Every single thing." Phil clipped off each words, spitting them out vicioulsy. I flinched.

"Okay, okay." My breaths were shaky. "Phil, I- you didn't know at the time but I was drunk... and in love with you. Insanely. I don't think you realize how much. And I still am. I had never meant to harm you like that." I rubbed my tear-filled eyes. "I have been in love with you since the moment we met, six years ago. And only now, as soon as you hit your head and lose your memories of me, do you decide that you love me. You don't even know me for Christ's sake!"

"I thought you were-"

"What? Phil I am a terrible person." I bit my bottom lip. "I do bad things, I hurt you. I have hurt you many times. I'm abusive. I'm evil. You shouldn't be near me." I was crying, unable to control what came out of my eyes and mouth. "I am so sorry Phil, I really am. But I am going to be completely honest here: you're better off away from me. Start a new life. Meet a girl, have littpe babies and grow old knowing that a boy called Daniel Howell let you free. That I finally released you-"

"Dan, stop." Phil pleaded, and I did stop, but I didn't want to listen to him anymore. So I ran inside, climbed the stairs to our level, unlocked the door and threw myself on the bed, still sobbing. The covers were half over me, so I was cold, but I couldn't be bothered moving them so instead I lay there and pretended to sleep, even as Phil came into the room and whispered my name. "You awake, Dan?" No reply. I heard a little sigh, and then the covers around me were moving, and warmth settled throughout my body. It was a welcome feeling. The other side of the bed dipped from the weight of another person and an arm draped itself around my body. I stilled, wondering why, but when I opened my eyes to look at him he was asleep. I realized it was probably going to be the last time I would ever share a bed with Phillip Lester, so I placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and attempted to sleep. It took me longer than I would've liked, but the dreams were pleasant enough.