Love Me Again

Chapter 8- Stealing My Emoji Shirt

Phil's POV-

Four days had passed since moving back in with Dan. We were becoming closer; less awkward, but there was still that invisible wall that prevented my memories of him coming back when everything else had. I remembered my childhood, my likes and dislikes, my ambitions and literally everything but my time with Dan. It was strange that he knew everything about me but I knew nothing about him. And I could see how much that hurt him.

"Phil, are you awake?" Dan whispered to me from my bedroom door. I opened my eyes and watched as he shut the door behind him. "Did I wake you?"

I shook my head. "No, what's the matter?" It came out a little harsh as I was extremely tired and frustrated. Why did I have to lose my memories? Why did I have to wait to remember Daniel Howell: the handsome, socially awkward and creative man? It wasn't fair.

"I-I can't sleep." Dan stuttered, leaning his back against the door as if to make a quick escape. "I'm going out. To clear my head. I won't be back til the morning."

Confused, I sat up and rubbed my eyes, but when I opened them he was just leaving the room, forgetting to close the door. Strange man, I thought and lay back down. I listened to his shuffling and muttering until he left and I was alone in the dark. Everything suddenly went cold and I shivered. I hated to admit it, but I missed Dan.

Dan's POV-

My legs were starting to hurt and the sun was just beginning to rise when I decided to go back. I had walked around London for hours, letting the cold freeze me and clear out my brain and letting the pain in my chest numb to a dull ache that I could bear. Phil was probably awake and eating breakfast by the time I would made it back home so as I opened the door and entered I made no effort to be quiet. Luckily, he was sitting in the lounge on his phone, already dressed and hair straightened. When he saw me, he jumped up and another glaring battle commenced.

"Where have you been all night?" He asked, showing me his phone. Lots of messages from him to me, asking where the fudge I was. It seemed Phil still didn't swear. "You told me you'd be back in the morning-"

"It is morning." I pointed out, checking my phone. 42 missed messages. Phil.

"I thought you mean early in the morning, not bloody nine o'clock! You've been out all night? Dammit Dan, I was worried!" He seemed angry, not worried, but I was not listening. I was tired and hungry and sore. "Are you listening? Dan-"

"Is that my emoji shirt?" I asked, taking in what he was wearing. My shirt with black skinny jeans that could've been either mine or his and mismatching orange and blue socks. His glasses were also on, which I had always found cute, but they made his furious eyes look even more furious.

"So what if it is?" Phil snapped, messing with the hem. "My clothes still haven't arrived and the ones I came in are in the wash for the billionth time."

"So... you thought you'd wear my shirt?" I nodded and told him I was going to make breakfast. "Have you had any?"

"Yes." He mumbled. "Dan, I'm going to visit my parents today. Hopefully get my clothes."

"Okay." I replied, although I secretly didn't want him to leave. "You can check the train times on my Mac if you want."

"Thanks."

I ate my breakfast in silence at the table as he went onto my Mac and when I had finished he was already shrugging on his coat. He told me the next train was in twenty minutes and I stood at the door, watching him quickly text his mum so she didn't go out. "How long will you be?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I'll be back later on tonight probably." Phil opened the door and was about to leave when I put my foot out to hold him there and stared into his eyes: lovely blue with specks of gold-yellow. He froze and frowned at me. "Dan? What's up?"

"Don't be long, please." I begged, dreading the thought of being alone. When he had been in hospital, sitting in the lounge without anyone to speak to had been Hell. My chest had been tight and I felt like I was on fire, as if I had had a fever. At least I knew Phil was fine now, and that he would actually be coming back. "Please." I repeated, my lower lip trembling. God, he'd think I was a baby, but the very thought of him going away for a while made me want to throw up.

"Don't worry, Dan." He soothed, and before either of us knew what was happening his hand was cupping my cheek and his thumb was stroking small circles onto my skin. I relaxed at the contact and his worry-filled eyes caused a wave of warmth to spread through me. "I'll be back tonight. Just a few hours. You'll be fine."

I nodded and removed my foot. He closed the door and I rushed to the window to watch him leave. He called for a taxi and it disappeared around the corner, taking Phil with it. That was when the warmth vanished and I sat trembling on the couch in a ball, wanting to put on a film and email the fans but I could not move, and cried silently until I fell asleep.