Love Me Again

Chapter 15- Forehead Kisses

A/N- more mentions of suicide sorry! Also depressing thoughts :(

Phil's POV-

*before the events of the last chapter*

I sat in the waiting room for well over two hours, constantly asking any nurse that walked past if Dan was alright. They all told me he was fine as it wasn't that serious but I could not see him as it was not visiting hours; I was lucky to even be sat here. They also told me he'd be released later on this evening after a couple of check-ups, but he'd be seeing a therapist for a couple of weeks just to make sure he was fine. I believed he was, but in the end Dan had suffered a panic attack from nowhere, so a therapist might be good for him. After all, I had lost my memories of him, and that had been pretty hard on him. For all I knew he could've been having panic attacks whilst I'm not in the room and pulling himself together when we were together.

Hunger beginning to gnaw at my stomach, I asked a random person where a vending machine or cafe might be, but they did not know. Disappointed, I realized I had no money with my either. I could literally do nothing but sit here as I could not get a taxi home or anywhere. That meant I stared at the doors in which we had came through in boredom, watching flashing sirens creep closer and ambulances jerk so a stop so they could rush in a very ill patient. I saw the female paramedic quite a few times, and she passed she tried to give me a comforting smile but was whisked away into the chaos. The fourth time she passed me, she stopped and bent down on her legs so she was looking up into my face with her light blue eyes.

"Phil, right?" She asked, "You're a YouTuber?"

"Yes." I managed, but my voice was raw as I had not spoke a word in hours and I felt like crying at any moment.

"You remember me? My name's Molly, and I see you haven't had any food or drink or... anything." She indicated my rumbling stomach and slouched position because I was in pain. Hunger really hurt sometimes. Molly fished out some money from her pockets and smiled warmly at me. "Come on, I have a car. I'll take you to Starbucks. I think you already know my daughter?"

"I do?" I asked, not really caring. Maybe she was a fan and I had met her at one point. But right now all I wanted was food, a drink and some sleep. But I needed to see Dan first. I told her as much and she looked pained and uncertain. She told me she would see if I could have a quick visit and then leave, and I was forever grateful when she came back and told me I had half an hour seeing as I'd been here most of the day. "Thank you so much! Thank you!" She showed me to his room and then left, telling me she was just going to finish off here and she'd come back for me in half an hour. I thanked her again and stood outside Dan's door, trying to look through the window. Blinds blocked my view. Well, time to see Dan, I told myself and pushed the door open-

I froze in absolute horror, watching the person on the window ledge slowly push himself off as if he wasn't sure what he was doing. It took me a while to find my voice or what to say, but my the time I found it he was about to let of the ledge. "No, Dan, stop!" I cried, attempting to rush forward but my feet were glued to the floor. I was cold all over and my eyes unfocused on him as he spun around to face me and his eyes widened like saucers in his head. He looked terrible: sweat coating his brow, lips chapped and eyes drooping, hands trembling. Finally able to move, I ran over to him and grabbed that trembling hand, wrapping my other arm around his stomach so he didn't fall forwards. I pulled him back and he did not resist, only fell limp in my arms and didn't make a sound. I threw my arms around him, heart pounding, and slowly steered him towards the bed where he willlingly lay down and buried his face into the pillow. Muffled sobs burst from his mouth and I whispered that he would be alright and that he was safe now. He sat up and placed his head into the crook of my shoulder, still crying but trying to calm himself down by matching his breaths to mine like I had told him to. After a couple of minutes of the only noise in the room being our breathing, his tiny cute snores told me he was asleep and that I could leave for food, which had completely vanished out of my mind but not my stomach. I drew the blankets up to Dan's chest, plumped his pillow and kissed his forehead. I knew he loved his forehead kisses.