I'm his | Draco Malfoy

I'm sorry

I know Harry and his friends won't check up on me, both because I practically yelled at him earlier, and also because they're busy having lunch and then having their afternoon lessons. Daphne doesn't know what happened, so she won't be worried about me.

The only person I think about now is Draco. He doesn't have friends as I do, he told me that very clearly. I feel like I'm the only one who really cares about him just for who he is.

I feel lonely now, and I hate this feeling. But I know he's feeling much worse and it's killing me.

I'm scared for him to be alone because I don't trust his way of dealing with what he considers failures or mistakes of him. And I know I made him think it's his fault.

I feel a hole in my heart and lungs and I'm struggling to breath normally, but I get up from my bed since my body can't seem to lay still and walk down the dorm. I'm going to the male's dorm where I hope I will find Draco.

I enter the room but I'm completely clueless about which is Draco's spot, so I'm about to leave when I hear Blaise's voice calling me. I turn and see him sitting on his bed, with a book near him, and the window open.

"Black" he says "are you looking for him?" I'm surprised he recognises me and knows what I'm doing here so I just nod. "Are you two together?" he asks. His voice is calm and low and relaxes me. I shake my head. "Not yet" I murmur. He gives me a little smile. "Take care. I mean, of you both." "Do you know where he is?" I ask, ignoring his comment. "Have you looked at the Owlery? He always goes there." So Blaise knows something about Draco after all.

"I know, but we, uh... I don't think he'll go there now." He seems to think. "He's either at the dining hall, or in whatever dark, quiet place this Castle has." I smile slightly. "I'll help you find him. You seem a bit, unstable." I stare at him. "Haven't you been sick for days? It's normal." "Let's go" I just say, and he follows me.

"Let's try in the dining hall first, 'kay? He will need to eat sooner or later." I nod. "How do you two know each other, by the way?" he says. "You talk a lot" I notice. "Don't ignore my question." "Our mothers are stepsisters" I say "although we've never really seen each other before, you know, coming here." "He never talked me about another girl in the Malfoy's Manor." "That's because I don't live there." "Oh." He seems to have understood that I don't want to keep talking about this so our short trip goes on in silence.

When we arrive to the dining hall, I see Harry, Ron and Hermione sitting at their place, but the only one who's eating is Ron. Even his siblings have a weird look on and I'm afraid Harry told them about my scene before. I quickly glance at the Slytherin table but can't see Draco, although Pansy, Craig, Goyle, Daphne and Astoria are all there, even conversing.

I suddenly realise everyone would be so much happier without me.

"He's not here" Blaise states and I nod. "Let's try in the Astronomy Tower then."

I've got a creepy sensation all of a sudden. "Why?" I ask, feebly. "Black, are you okay?" We're walking, no, almost running to the Tower, and my heart is pumping through my head.

"Yeh" I reply, quickly climbing the steps to arrive at our destination. I can see a shadow, but shadows are everywhere and I can't feel the floor anymore. I feel a big hand holding my waist and shouting something but I can't understand what's happening. I'm frustrated because I feel completely helpless and I'm being weak once again.

After what feels like a hour but I know is much less, I start to hear the sounds again, and to recognise the muffled voices. My body feels sore and so do my mouth and head, but I try to open my eyes because I'm feeling trapped. The white, familiar light of the Infirmary makes my eyes shut down immediately, and my eyelashes intertwine.

"O-" a low voice murmurs, then clears his throat. "Olivia." I open my eyes and try to move, but my hand is kept inside his.

"Draco?" I ask. "Are you okay?" I try to sit up and feel a twinge of pain inside my whole body. "Am I- Am I okay?" He's looking at me in bewilderment. His eyes are so clear and light now, as they reflected the whole room. "Yeah. You seemed so" I cough slightly "So disappointed before. I'm sorry. I don't compare you to Harry. I'm sorry" I repeat, trying hard not to let my tears fall.

He starts caressing my hand with his thumb. I notice the color of his skin under his eyes is darker. "You're so precious" he murmurs lowly. He looks at me and our eyes bond, as they always do.

"What happened? Why am I here?" I ask. "You haven't... You haven't been eating properly." His voice is slightly trembling and I put on a smile to reassure him. "You've been sick and not eating rised the level of your body's weakness. Madam Pomfrey said, she said you weren't allowed to leave so early as you did that night."

I remember now. I could leave the next day. "When's the last time you ate?" he seems so full of worries. "Uh... yesterday lunch or breakfast, I guess." "Why?" "I didn't... feel like eating. And it's not like I've got the perfect body or whatever, so" I chuckle, but it sounds more like a sob.

He places his hands on my cheeks, drying my tears with his fingers, but I can see he's on the verge of crying too.

"You don't understand. You're so absolutely beautiful to me. Please, eat. I got so worried. When Blaise called my name I realised at once something was wrong with you. I'm sorry" he whispers, his irises never leaving mine.

"I told you to tell me whenever you don't feel okay. I can help you. I can try to fix things for you."