I'm his | Draco Malfoy

I am the problem.

"Mrs Black?"

I look up from my notes and look at Professor Snape, who's staring at me.

"Yes?" I say, tentatively.

"Do you know the answer to the question?" Snape asks, raising an eyebrow.

I gulp. I was still writing my notes and I didn't even hear the question.
Near me, Daphne is silent. She probably wasn't listening either, so she cannot help me.

"Well?" Snape urges.

"Well..." I start, trying to take time.

I hear a cold whisper.

"Draught of Peace and several Love Potions" Draco murmurs, loud enough for me and Daphne to hear, but not for Snape to hear. Since Draco is sitting behind me, it's easy for him to help me in these cases, but I'm still not used to it.

"D-Draught of Peace and several Love Potions..." I say. My mind brightens. "These are the uses of Moonstone."

Snape seems surprised, and I have a feeling he's probably got some clue about who actually answered the question, but he nods. "Very good, Mrs Black. Now, Mrs Granger, you're free to lower your hand, before I cut it off."

I can't even turn to look at Hermione because I know she would see my small laugh. Hermione and Ron have obviously taken Harry's side, because I'm sure he hasn't told them anything true. I hope so, at least. I can't see the activist Hermione Granger defending the boy who slapped a girl and forced her to kiss him.

"That is all for today. Make sure to hand me the Wolfsbane Essay on your way out."

Near me, I hear Daphne gasp. "Oh shit" she whispers "I forgot I had to make it." I grin at her, and pass her a copy of mine. Then I subtly move my wand to change some words and the order of the paragraphs. It's a spell Fred and George taught me. Daphne smiles at me, it's the second time I use this for her. "You're my saviour" she says, standing up with her essay and mine.

"No, you're mine" Draco whispers on my neck, behind me. I giggle.

"What do you have to do today" I ask him, turning to face him, while putting all my things in my bag and standing up. He takes my hand, twining our fingers, and I feel a warm shiver run through me. "History of Magic" he grunts "my least favourite." "I thought your least favourite was Defence Against the Dark Arts" I notice. He nods. "Well, okay, my second least favourite." "I can help you" I say "I'm good at remembering dates."

"You're very good" he says, opening the door for me, and I smile at him.

Hours later, after a full afternoon we've spent studying History and Herbology (for me), I'm laying with my head on his legs, a book between my arms, and he's caressing my hair, half asleep.

"You're my favourite teacher" he says. I chuckle. "I'm not a teacher, and I've been in this school for less than a year." "That is amaziiiing" he slurs the words. "You're even better than Granger! Yes you are, you're..."

He pauses, then opens his eyes, staring into me.

"That's why I love you."

I almost choke, standing immediately up, stepping far away from him.

"What- What did you just say?" I ask, weakly. He seems surprised and sleep is still on his face.

"I-" "Don't say that" I order, terrified.

Then, leaving my book there, I just walk out the Slytherin Common Room, my heart on the floor.

I can't have him love me, not when I'm not sure I can love him back. Love is such a great word, how can he even say that to me? He's known me for so little, he doesn't even know what I went through, doesn't know all about me. We're not even exactly friends.

I am not even beautiful. I am not even one of those girls you see and think 'she'll have a thousand boys'.

Everyone who loved me ended up hurting me, or themselves, or both. I hadn't had a real mom during my childhood, what if this ruined all the way I treated people?

What if I was just a broken, shattered shell of a girl, and what if I was just hurting Draco this way?

It would be better for everyone if I would just return home and close myself in my room, without Dad, Harry or Draco.

I find myself in the library and I sit at the desk, the one he always came to, the one he brought me to to study, the one we made ours. Suddenly, Luna enters in the room and she smiles delicately at me through her long lashes and light hair. "Can I sit?" she asks, softly.

"Of course" I say, then I bite my tongue. I just want to shut my head up.

"I can't seem to get the hang of dates in History... do you think you can help me?"
That's it, I think. And tears start to fall down my eyes, on my cheeks, and she immediately touches my arm, reclining her head to look at me.

She doesn't say a word, but she seems to understand what's going on inside me better than me. Maybe Luna's not good with History, but she's definitely very good with people.

I sob silently, hiding my face with my free hand and allowing her to caress my other. When I'm finished, minutes later, I look at her, my eyes red and my cheeks stained with salt.

"It's okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be okay" she says. I shake my head. "Whatever problem there is-" "The problem is me" I spit "I am the problem."

She raises her eyebrows but doesn't seem surprised. "I don't believe that for a second" she exclaims "but if your thought is so, surely it'll change. He will make you believe in yourself" she adds, with a small smirk.

I stare at her. Does she know about Draco? She is best friend with Ginny Weasley, so probably yes, but still...

"I gotta go now" she says suddenly, playing with a strand of her long, wavy hair. I nod. "Thank you Luna, I appreciate it." "Don't even say that" she jokes.

And then I'm left on my own, sitting at our desk, wondering what I did wrong in my last life to end up being like this in this one.