The Challenge: Spies, Lies, and Allies

Episode 11

Priscilla leaving the game is such a bittersweet thing for me because I have grown to love her like a sister but I am happy that Ashley has gotten her much needed elimination win. Ashley has gotten a lot of shit ever since she took the money from Hunter but honestly, if I was in her same position, I would have done it too. Hunter is my brother but I do think the way he treated Ashley and she treated him warranted her taking the money. I have helped him financially since then because I just love his son, Kohen. Hunter named me Koko's honorary godfather and uncle and Koko is a huge part of Christian and I's lives.

Knowing that we can swap teams is a huge thing and now the Agency is not even safe from being swapped. The Emerald cell is the strongest team in terms of challenges, but I think Sapphire cell is the team to watch out for, minus Bettina and Amanda. Don't get me wrong, I love these women very much, but compared to Ashley, Nany, Tori, Kaycee, and Emy, they are not the best physically. Amanda has one of the best social games but also one of the worst at the same time. If our cell could get Emy on the team and lose Bettina or Amanda, we would be in a great spot to contend with Emerald.

I walk by Ash and Nany's room and hear Ashley laughing with Nany and makes me feel good inside knowing Ashley is bonding with the vets. I walk away from the room and head outside by the pool alone to collect my thoughts about my life and this game. Outside of the Challenge, I have a loving and incredibly understanding fiancé, amazing family and friends, and my dream jobs: acting and singing. Inside the Challenge, however, I feel like the joy of the show is starting to fade away from me. I have noticed myself wanting to be alone instead of talking game or just just talking in general.

Maybe I am feeling this way because I am nearing the end of my journey on here. I have accomplished so much on the show and I don't know if I can achieve anything else I want because I don't know if I have anything to strive towards. Sure, I could win more daily challenges, but the game itself has become a bit boring for me, especially with this vet alliance going on. I'm not going to stop competing on the Challenge for at least a couple of seasons, but I might take a break soon. I am just realizing this now, but besides my London trip, I have not taken a break since 2018. 

I get this urge to talk to X, my younger brother, because although he is younger than me, I look to him a lot for wisdom because he is so mature for his age and helped me get through the bullshit dad put me through. In fact, if it was not for him, I would not have done Big Brother Canada and this whole thing would not exist. I miss him like crazy and I just need to hear him and see him, especially since my birthday just passed and I have never not talked to them on my birthday. Even in the Big Brother house, I talked to X and I also talked with him on Australian Survivor twice because he came on my loved ones' visit. I enter the phone room and FaceTime X.

Xavier: Syn, there better be a good reason as to why you are calling me.

Syn: Xavy, I need you right now.

Xavier: Bubba, are you okay?

Syn: No. You know what yesterday was?

Xavier: Of course. It was your... oh. How are you holding up?

Syn: I feel like shit, bruv.

Xavier: Oh God! The accent came out. This is your coping mechanism. You really aren't doing well. I am sorry Brett. I really wish I could be there with you right now.

Syn: Do you think it will ever get easier?

Xavier: What?

Syn: Will losing dad ever get easier?

Xavier: For you, I don't think so. He was such a big part of your life, in a negative way, that a part of you feels gone. Gramps dying doesn't help you either.