Adventskalender 2021 {HP}

Türchen 9: Destiel

Part one out of three

Dean and Sam had taken a break from each other after a huge fight they had. Sam was somewhere in Wyoming following a lead in another case alone, while Dean stayed at the bunker doing the same.

It was 11pm, when Dean finally got back to the bunker, where he immediately headed down into his room to take a shower, after he had thrown his things onto the desk.
Dean tried to avoid that water fell on his wound, which he got from the werewolf he just fought.
About five minutes later, he got out of the shower and put on his clothes, except his shirt. The wound needed to be cleaned so he took some stuff out of the shelf in the bathroom. The most important thing was missing though: saline. Something of it was definitely in the library because Sam always kept it there for emergencies. Therefore, Dean headed back up.

At the table in the library, he put everything down, grabbed the saline and a cotton wool pad with his right hand when, suddenly, his hand started to ache again. It caused Dean to gasp sharply. He let his hand down and hissed.
,,Perfect! And how am I supposed to clean it now?"
,,I could help."
Dean turned around shocked.
,,Cas! You could have said you're here when you opened the door!"
,,I'm sorry, Dean. I thought you heard me."
The angel came closer and looked at Dean with apologizing eyes.
,,No, it's okay. I was- somewhere else- with my mind. Here."
The older Winchester gave Cas the cotton wool pad, whereas he took it with an confused expression.
,,I just heal you my way."
,,No, no, no, Cas."
Dean took a step back, the moment Cas tried to put his two fingers on the Winchester's forhead.
,,Why not?"
,,I had it coming."
They looked into each other's eyes.
,,Dean, you are not responsible for Sam's leaving. He decided it, not you."
A bitter chuckle left Dean's mouth.
,,No, Cas. I really said some bad stuff back there. When he had a normal life, a happy life, I ripped him out. And for what? For him to deal with the worst kind of monsters? For him to get hurt, to die nearly thousands of times now? Sammy didn't even want this, but I dragged him. I was too obsessed with it so now, after I took it a step too far, he left. I acted just like my dad. And I hate it. Although, I knew this day would come all along. Now, just help me with the wound please."
,,Dean-"
,,Please, Cas."
,,As you wish."
Dean sat down, furthermore, leaned against the table, while Cas drank the pad in the saline. He came really close to Dean, who closed his eyes in order to deal with the pain. The angel held the pad in front of him because he recognized how Dean's heart beat faster and faster. Thinking it was because of the pain, Cas placed his left hand on Dean's shoulder.
,,It's going to hurt now."
As Cas cleaned the wound, Dean let out a muffled sound. It drove him crazy how Cas touched him, how gentle he was. He couldn't even think straight, his heart raced like he just ran a marathon which Cas seemed to notice- of course.
,,Dean? Are you okay?"
The Winchester opened his eyes and stared into these deep blue ones in front of him. Cas was so close to him and Dean liked it, he didn't know what was going on. Though, he always enjoyed being with Cas, hunting or researching- it even made fun with him. Okay, maybe he knew exactly why he felt like this. He did for a long time, if not since the day Cas gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.
Dean's eyes wandered down to Cas' lips, just for a second, but long enough to make his opposite nervous.
Cas wondered if Dean noticed that the angel was staring at his body before he had opened his eyes again.
,,Are- Are you alright?"
,,I- yes, Cas."
,,How long did you sleep last night?"
Cas stepped back, while putting the pad and medicine down.
,,I don't know. As long as the nights before. Two hours, maybe?"
Carefully, Cas put a big band aid onto the wound, while he watched Dean worried. The Winchester, on the other side, only grabbed his shirt and tried to put it on.
,,Ah- damn it!"
,,How about the flannel shirt? That should be easier."
Additionally, Dean threw his shirt back and only put on his flannel. It was unbuttoned because his hand ached too much as he tried to button it. Now, Dean needed a beer, therefore, they both headed there.

In the kitchen, Dean walked to the fridge and took a beer out of it. Cas leaned against the kitchen isle, thinking about how he could help Dean to cope or simply distract him- literally anything which could help him.
Dean leaned on the opposite side against the working surface, watching Cas biting his lip, while he probably was thinking about something. Right then, Dean couldn't take his eyes off of him. Cas was always there- always had been. He was thankful for having this angel watching over him. But Dean knew that Cas deserved better, a person that was not messed up or broken-
,,Dean?"
,,Äh, ya?"
,,I said- are you really okay?"
,,Yeah, totally. I was just thinking about the hunt tomorrow."
This sentence shocked and worried Cas.
,,You want to go on a hunt? Tomorrow? Dean, you are hurt, not clear headed anyway!"
,,Cas, I'm fine!"
,,No, you're not Dean! You are afraid and lonely and sad and so mad at yourself! It is not your fault and it's not your responsibility to keep Sam save! He is an adult, he can take care of himself. You did enough. He is gone for now Dean-"
,,I said I'm fine!"
Dean was right in front of Cas, taking hold of his trenchcoat, pinning him more against the isle; he was shouting.
,,Ah- that damn werwolf!"
His hand and his wound hurt from the movement he made which is why he let go off Cas, punching against the fridge in his rage, only making the ache worse.
Cas pulled him away before he could punch a second and a third time. The angel held him tight in his arms.
,,Let me go!"
Dean was still shouting, but now one could hear how his voice broke.
,,Let me go- Please, don't let me go-"
His words were swallowed, tears turned them down and he hugged Cas desperately back. Now, the Winchester whispered in a weak voice.
,,Please, don't go."
Cas gently stroke Dean's back.
,,I will never go. I will never leave you, Dean."

Habe diesen OS auf Englisch geschrieben, weil ich Supernatural auch auf Englisch geguckt habe und Dean's und Cas' Wortwahl und Art dadurch nur auf Englisch gut nachvollziehen und beschreiben kann ^^