She's The Artist

| Chapter 13: Everything |

(Listen to song when you get to the lyrics part)

Warning: Mental Health, Mention of Self-Harm

♫ ♪ ♫

You know that feeling of emptiness? Well, that's what I'm feeling right about now.

Empty.

Nothing right now is helping. Not even the ice cream that I was going to eat.

I haven't lived a life of nothingness. And I'm not going to lie and say it's one of the most fortunes thing to happen. Because. . . it's not.

Having this. . . feeling running all over my body is a living hell. It's a torture cell. A living Satan in you.

You don't feel anything. Nothing at all. It feels like you're a dead weight walking around. No one knowing what really happened to you. What you really are. . .

A fucking monster. 

Now, you might say that-that's not true and that no one can be a monster. But, I can say for myself that I am a monster.

How? Because. . . I killed my brother. The only person that really mattered to me. My life line.

I don't need a lover or a 'soulmate' to come and be who saves me. I can't be saved.

I'm broken. . . And I always will be.

That's the reality of my life situation. I killed someone. My family. . . want through hell and back for 6 years, ignored and didn't take my meds, almost had a heart attack at the age of 22, smoked, (still do) did drugs, drank till I couldn't see straight, almost killed myself once, ran away, broke my parents a part and there 'love' for me. . .

That's my fucked-up life. My broken life. 

When I woke up from passing out the other night, I found myself thinking over everything that's been happening.

And I've made my decision. . .

But I'll save that for later.

One of the things I was thinking of though, was who came in my apartment.

I have idea who did. And that's where I am right now.

Standing at my asshole neighbors door so I can talk to him. Well, more like thank him.

I knock on the door once and a minute later, he answers. 

His dark brown, almost black hair a mess on top of his head. His mesmerizing eyes looking at me. Studying me.

Did I say he had no shirt on and he has abs?

"Um. . . Hi." I say and look around behind him. Trying to look anywhere but his abs.

"Hi. . . you looking for something?"

God, he's accent. . . 

"Well, I'm looking for you. Actually." I say.

Don't look down, don't look down, don't look. . .

I looked down.

"Okay well, I'm here." He chuckles and looks down for a moment. Then glances back up at me.

"Yeah. . . I see that." I mumble.

Fucking idiot. Just say thank you. Stop trying to look at his abs. Focus. . .

"Anyways, I came here to say thank you. . . So, thank you." I say quietly. Bowing my head in the process. 

I can just tell he's smirking when he says,

"And what exactly are you thanking me for Alex?"

What a fucking bitch.

"I'm thanking you for coming to see if I-I was okay."

"And is that it?"

Ugh. Kill me now. . .

"And for making sure that I didn't hit the floor when I. . . I pass out."

I look up to see, (not surprised really) him grinning like an idiot and looking at me.

"Well than, Your welcome." He says and leans his body to his left so he's leaning on his door frame.

What a hot guy. . .

Wait. . . No, no, no, no, NO. What I'm I thinking? You hate him remember?

"Okay well, this was fun! I'm just going to head out now so. . . Have a shitty day Mr. Perez!" I clap my hands and start to run down the hall.

"Wait. . . How did you-"

I know a lot of things you don't know Ethan. A lot. 

Hello Reader! 

I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did writing it! It's kind of funny. . .

Anyways,

I don't have a quote because I am rushing right about now so yeah. . . My bad. :(

BUT! YOU ALL ARE LOVEY PEOPLE!

See you guys next time!