She's The Artist

| Chapter 18: Angry To A Point |

(Listen to the song at the top!)

Warning: Panic attack, Mentions of abuse

✞ Ethan Perez ✞

♫ ♪ ♫

Looking into her eye's, trying to process what the fuck she just said, I see fear. I see how fearful she is. How scared, how vulnerable I'm making her. How she thinks I'm going to hurt her. . .

I would never hurt a woman. One of the many things I won't do. And if I did, I wouldn't mean it.

I just want to know what's going on with her. Why the fuck she hates me so much, or way she doesn't let anyone know what she really feels.

I sometimes hear her at night. Crying herself to sleep or talking to herself about being a killer. . .

If you ask me, I have never seen anyone like her.

Standing here, with her right in front of me, I get to see a small part of her that she doesn't let anyone see.

How fucking scared she is. 

Then, her words start to repeat themselves in my head.

'because if I let you in, I don't know if I can save myself again. . .'

What dose she mean by that? Saving herself again? How many times did she have to? Is she hurting herself? Is someone hurting her?

Holy fuck Ethan, get a grip. 

"Ethan please. . . let me go." I'm snapped out of my thoughts by her voice. I didn't even know I still had her caged before she called my name.

I push off the wall and take two steps back. Letting her have her own personal space.

I hear her deep breathing, I see her eye's looking everywhere but at my own. I can see her rubbing her hands at her sides, trying to calm herself down.

Panic attack. 

I take a step closer, slowly at that.

"Alex. Just breath." I say and rise my hands up in surrender. Showing her I'm not here to hurt her.

"Just. . . s-stay away from m-me." she says, backing up against the wall again.

Her eye's are wide, looking around still.

Fuck, this is so much harder then I thought it would be. 

Next thing I know, I'm hugging her.

"Just breath, okay?" I say and rub small circles on her back, trying to clam her down the best I can.

I am not good with things like this. . . 

"I can't." she sobs.

"Just repeat after me." I say and pull back so that were looking at each other.

"Breath in. . . breath out."

I do it again.

After awhile of doing this, she clamed down.

But that clam did not least to long.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" she yelled, pushing my back.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked, not knowing what the fuck I did.

"Are you stupid? Your telling me you didn't just cage me in like a bad dog and ask me to let you in?" she stepped up and tilted her head.

That's cute.

Not the time. 

"I didn't cage you. I was just trying to help you."

"Help me? When will you learn. I. Don't. Need. Your. Help." she said, rage filled within her voice.

I step up.

"Yes, you do."

Now I'm getting pissed off.

"You want to know something?"

I nodded.

"I used to be like you. Trying to get into other people's problems to avoid mine. Well, look were that got me. Nowhere. So, stop trying to get into my business. You don't want to help me, you don't want to talk to me, and you don't want to see me again. Okay?"

Who the fuck dose she think she is? 

"I can do whatever the fuck I want, got that? I don't need to listen to you or anyone at that. So, if your done with your temper, a thank you would be nice." I smile angerly.

"Okay. Thank you. But remember one thing."

"And what is that, Miss White?" I grinned.

She smiled.

"When they find you, I won't be here to keep you in check."

My grin dropped and I turned even more anger.

She looked at me one last time and turned around and walked to her door.

What the fuck did I just get myself into? 

Hello Readers!

Sooooo, how did you like this chapter? Like how i switched it up there? I thought it would be cool for you guys to know what happens in his mind to. not only hers. If you know what I mean. . .;)

Anyways. . .

Christmas is coming and i will be uploading more in the next two weeks. I'm off on break and have more time to write which is so nice ngl.

But i hope to see you guys soon and have a good night you awesome people!