She's The Artist

| Chapter 27: Both Sides |

(Listen to song at the top!)

♫ ♪ ♫

A full ass week has gone by sense me and, the person that shall not be named at this moment, had a fight. Well, not really a fight. More like. . . a blow up.

Every time I think back to a week ago, I get this red rage coursing through me. I can feel it in my veins. The rage. The anger. The all consuming I-just-want-to-choke-you-to death feeling. it's both a miracle and a cruse.

Miracle as in, I can think of all the ways to kill, torture, and or make my asshole of a neighbor hate me even more. Now that's pleasure.

And for the cruse part, I think about him 24/7.

Yes, there is the rage part of course but, there's something more there. every time I think about him, a little spark lights in my chest. But that spark only happens when I think about how much both him and I have in common.

Some might say that its because of attraction. I half agree with them and I half don't agree.

Hell yes he is hot ass fuck. If I was drunk to a point I would totally have a quickie with him.

Anyways. . .

But the logic part of me is just to goddam careful. I overthink anything and everything. That part of my brain is telling me to pack my bags and leave.

But the other part of me, just won't give up on the feeling.

So, here I am. Sitting in a hotel room contemplating what I should do with my neighbor well getting ready for my brothers funeral. At least it took my mind off him for a while.

Oh who am I kidding? Every time I think about him I could doze off into la la land.

♪ ♪ ♪ 

As I stand here, looking over at my buried brother, I just think.

What would life have been like if my brother never want missing? Would he be here? Or would he be were he is right now? Dead?

So many things could have happened that didn't. My brother dead because of me and I have to learn to live with that for the rest of my life. But how can I? How could anyone really?

I couldn't even look at my own mother without blaming myself. Even from a whole graveyard away.

Obviously, I couldn't just show up to his funeral. If I walked in there, I would die right then and there. But all I wanted to do was walk up there and talk about him. My mother got to. I didn't

That made me blame myself even more then I did before.

So here I stand, like a coward. Looking down at the only person that loved me and I him. The person who deserves a fucking speech from there sister.

But I just. . .can't.

I'm opening and closing my month like a fish. No words would come out. Just. . . nothing.

I can't help but cry. Cry for him. Cry for what he did.

As I touch his grave, running my fingers over the letters,

Jack Jonathan White

Rest In Peace

A Brother, A Son, A Friend

You will always be remembered, You will always be loved, You will find peace.

This is what this has come to. That was the ending to his song. His artistry.

I have no idea how long I stay here. Looking to his grave, then looking up at the sky. Looking for a sign that he's here. That he's with me.

I jump as a feel a hand on my shoulder. Making me jump off the ground actually.

"God. . . I told you Sam, I would be back around-"

But as I turn around I don't find Sam at all.

I find Him. 

Hellooo readers!

It has been a while only because I had some readers block. But, thankfully I got out of that block and am now uploading again! 

So how is everyones March break so far? Mine is okay but also it's fine at the same time. I know, weird! But how did you like this chapter? what do you think will happen?

And i see that we are almost to 1k reads!? Thats amazing!

Anyways. . .

I hope you guys have a great day and march break! see you soon! :)