She's The Artist

| Chapter 31: A Screwed Up Reality |

{LISTEN TO SONG AT THE TOP}

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I'm froze.

What the hell is happening right now? Is Ethan motherfucking Preze really kissing me? Am I dreaming? 

That question if I'm dreaming or not, comes full force with a hard no. I know this because, someone's lips are definitely moving against my froze ones. Yep, not dreaming.

But quickly, my body starts to relax. I know that this is Ethan. I know I shouldn't start to want to kiss him back. I know I should push him away. Slap him. Punch him. Even kick him in the balls. But, I can't.

My body and mind want two different things. My mind is screaming for me to push him away. Let all my worked-up frustrations out on him. On him slowly guiding his fingers up the works of my neck and holding right under my chin. On his other hand glazing my left hip. On how his lips feel on mine.

But today, my body wins.

My body wants all of him. The way he holds me firm so I can't move away from him. The heat that spreads like wild fire across my whole body when he touches me. The way, with just one touch, I can completely forget way I'm supposed to hate him. Why I'm running from him. Why I can't have him.

I feel him start to pull away from me. Confused, I notice that I never kissed him back only because I was stuck in my own thoughts. Way to go, Alex.

But before he can pull away fully and start to ask questions and, give me that blank, I-hate-the-world face, I slam my lips against his. Kissing him back this time.

Closing my eyes, I know he'll kiss me back. He has to kiss me back. I don't know why but, he makes me feel all these things that I don't want to feel. This clinginess inside the back of my Thorat when he doesn't have his hands on me. Or the slight irritation I feel when I feel his lips pull into a smirk against mine, only to experience that feeling disappearing once he takes my lips like I'm his pray.  

We soon devour each other in both of our needs. Our lips in sync, his right hand moves up from under my chin and cups my cheek softly. Totally opposite from our kiss.

I slowly run my hands up his back, wanting to feel all of him. The muscles in his back are just so, breathtakingly fit. I can feel his back flex and a small shiver runs though me.

I run my nails up the rest of his upper back and then lace my fingers in his black, soft hair. It feels so good and right at the same time. Like running your hand in holy water. So hot. 

Our kiss gets more insane by the minute. I'm afraid if we don't stop now, things will get a lot more complicated between us then they are. But I don't want to stop. Just from the small taste I'm getting now, I want to live in this moment forever and never leave this euphoria.

Just when I'm about to break this magical bubble that were in, it's like he can already see it coming. He shakes his head a little to tell me no but I don't listen. I'm to selfish and stubborn. I have to.

I pull away slowly and open my eye's. Ethans eyes are closed with a pained expression painted on his face. His lips a swollen from our kiss and his cheeks have the lights of pinks tinting them. I have a feeling his eyes are close to hide his emotions from me. I hurt him. I know I did.

See, the thing with Ethan is that he may come across as cold and uncaring. But, he has a heart. A heart that hides in the backs of his broken mind that he only lets the people close to him see. I may have done a little background check on him and found out that he has an Unkown mental disorder were sometimes when in the moment, he feels too much and sometimes memories start to come back like a wave.