Insomniacs (#1)

26. heartbreaker*

{mature content}

"You two were perfect. The three of us, we were perfect. Me and your dad- we grew out of love. We'd just started arguing so constantly. And it just kept getting worse. To the point where we'd wake you up when you were sleeping, we were effecting you."

"Ria, he loved you so much-"

"He fucking slapped me." I seethed, snapping out of my frozen state.

"Then, back then. He loved you so much. You two were inseparable, you'd only go to sleep in his arms." Her voice became shaky, "Everything fell apart when Enrico cheated. He was drinking more and one night, he came home. He said it to my face, what he did, with no shame. And I just - I kicked him out." She said, her voice strained and tears endless.

"I ignored him for months, never let him inside when he'd knock on the door, not once did I answer a call. But god, you cried for him so much. You missed him and he missed you. You were the only thing that brought us together. You were the only thing Rico had love for and after a while, I settled for keeping him up to date with you." She explained, eyes barely meeting mine.

I think I was speechless.

It felt so weird. The way she was talking about me but I had no memory of it whatsoever. The way she was talking about a relationship I had with my father that never existed in my head. Until now, apparently.

I had a dad. He left when we were father and daughter, not when I wasn't even in existence yet. Why couldn't she have just told me? She complicated everything by keeping secrets.

"So you stopped him from seeing me?" I asked.

She hesitated but nodded.

I asked, "Because he cheated?"

"No, not just- yeah." She ran her hands through her hair, visibly flustered.

"You've lied to me. My whole life." I gritted through my teeth and she just sobbed more, "My entire life. I thought it was a certain way and it wasn't. And you stopped him from seeing his child because you couldn't bear to see him again. Do you hear how fucking selfish you are?" I hopped off the counter, my voice having gained a pitch.

"I did it for you-"

"Jesus, stop kidding yourself. No you fucking didn't. If you'd have done it for me, if you'd have done anything for me, you would've kicked him out last night." I yelled and she flinched, chest shuddering with trembling breaths, "You kicked him out because he cheated on you. He hurt you. And I'm sorry it happened to you but as a mother, you didn't take anyone but yourself into consideration whatsoever. And you definitely didn't when you thought it was a good idea to keep that like a little secret."

"I don't want to know that fucker now. If you say we were as close as we were then shit's changed. But you kept me in the dark for so long, about my own life. Why did you lie so much?" My tone was strong, bitter.

Lies, everywhere. It's fucking stupid and childish and dumb. No need for it. Now, there's a barrier between us.

"I just- it was so much easier to pretend like I hated him than to acknowledge how much I still loved him. And I thought it'd have been easier to say that he didn't leave you even when he loved you."

The words hurt, sliced through me because to an extent, it was true. Yes, she'd kicked him out and stopped him from seeing me but then again he was my dad, a dad I 'loved' and he didn't come back.

"Aria, please don't be hurt. It was for the best, he was a bad person."

Was.

"So he isn't anymore?" I asked, numbness taking reign over my tone.