Insomniacs (#1)

39. neglect

What are you supposed to bring to your friend, but not-friend, in hospital with a broken jaw? A broken jaw that your boyfriend caused.

Yeah, I had no clue either.

I held flowers in my hand, standing outside Hudson's hospital room but it really didn't feel like enough. Luca explicitly told me that watching me give Hudson flowers is as weird as giving it to a devil.

I don't know why exactly Hudson's fucked up, or devilish, like Luca makes it out to be. But the Hudson I knew - he was definitely fucked up but he was also pleasant to be around. Quiet, unrevealing. But I kinda liked that.

Summer of last year was when we'd started falling into that spiral of mindless hooking up. Besides that, it was a fun summer and we spent a lot of it together. Me, Everest and Hudson. Everest's constant parties helped with that.

Even through all that, there are barely any facts I could say about Hudson Tempest. Nobody really knows him, even when you think you do.

Albeit, we obviously drifted when he moved away and we hadn't had much time to reconnect when he got back. But the thought of him hating me was enough to make my heart sink into my stomach.

I sucked it up though, straightening my shoulders and knocking on the door before pushing it open.

He was sat up, bandages around the side of his face. I thought he may have been asleep at first but when his eyes tiredly flitted open, I made my way over to him. While trying not to combust from nerves.

"Hey." I cleared my throat, standing besides him.

His blue eyes that were as cool and cold as always glanced down to the flowers I held and back up to my eyes, "I- um, I brought these. I didn't really know what to get and I have no clue what flowers you might have liked so I just got dahlias."

He just watched me for a moment. You could tell that under the bandages his face was swollen. But he looked...calm. Like this pain isn't such a big deal. That slightly terrified me.

"I know it hurts to talk so I'll do the talking." I said and then I had to blurt, "You don't hate me right?"

His eyes opened now, eyebrows furrowing and although he couldn't speak, he was asking why I'd hate him.

"He hurt you because of me." I said, "I know you know him, that you know each other more than you want to let on, so you probably know he gets angry when he's...hurting. We were both hurting. Not an excuse. But I'm sorry."

He almost looked amused at me. Seriously? I'm doing what a normal person would do. It's not my fault they just casually break each other's bones.

His eyes flitted to the bedside table besides him and then back to me. I followed his eyes and saw the tablet set on the table, reaching out for it, "This?" I asked. He nodded.

I picked it up and handed it to him. He turned it on, clicked a few things and then was tracing something with his fingers on the screen. I couldn't see what he was doing until he held it up to me. On a white screen, in his messy handwriting, it wrote,

You're way too fucking good for that prick.

I smiled, "I'm gonna hug you. Can I?"

He nodded once.

I stood and wrapped my arms around him immediately, careful of his jaw. His arms loosely hugged me back and I sighed, "It's been so long."

He nodded back, hugging me a little tighter.

"Luca wants to apologise." I said.

No, he really does not. They don't ever apologise to each other. He said it's fucking weird and even Hudson would find it weird. But when you break a person's jaw, you apologise. Maybe both of them need some normality.