Insomniacs (#1)

3. dark-eyes

Aria.

Socialising.

Not my strong suit, I must say. Social situations make me want to crawl out of my skin unless I'm anything but sober.

I'm not sure when it got like that. I used to be a rather giddy kid, smiling and striking up conversations with any kind face but as we've clarified, I don't know where she is and I'm not sure if she died the same night her best friends did.

Even though she takes up a lot of my mind: the impossibility of going back to her, being stuck with who I am now. It conjures up an odd feeling; not sadness but a sort of numb reminiscence.

And so there I was, walking into an overcrowded house flashing in red with numb reminiscence. Everest cleared a path for me with his body as I walked in behind him.

Everest was renowned at parties; they're practically his second home seeing as though he was at one most days of the week. People called out his name as soon as his presence was prevalent. Best believe, he'd be fucked up almost immediately.

Malik was pretty popular too; it was difficult not to like Malik. Him and Ev were esteemed players of the soccer team so most people knew them and they knew most people.

And Everest had a way of making you love him. Could strike up a conversation with anyone, made people feel important with the way he talks to them and showed love to anyone. Charm seeped off him.

People knew me, knew who I was but I think it was made clear but I wasn't as easy to approach. People drew to them, and people were uncertain around me. I never attempted to seem unapproachable for some sort of mystery, for an allure but boys took it that way anyways— always believing it was a game of hard to get.

Despite the fact there was no mystery; I doubt I'm interesting enough to be. I hadn't fucked Everest Jones or Malik Harris and therefore, people were curious. If we're being honest, that's a lot of what it was about.

And also my inability to talk to people I didn't want to talk to without sounding bored. And boys dicks getting hard because someone didn't want to bat their eyelashes and flank their sides.

It was definitely one of the biggest parties I'd been to that year. Dancing, grinding and fucking. It was everywhere. Accompanied with that party stench; a concoction of sweat, sex, weed and alcohol.

I probably should've cared that I was wearing a worn out t-shirt that reached my knees when surrounded by beautiful girls decked out in beautiful dresses and beautiful makeup. My insecurity spiked, of course but not enough to want to make an effort. I haven't slept in days. I hadn't planned to be here.

Everest led us to the back of the kitchen, where a group of boys that I did recognise came into view. I smiled in courtesy at some of the soccer boys I knew through Ev and Malik.

"So they got you to come huh?" Darius leaned down so I could hear him and smiled his dimpley smile.

"Apparently." I took the joint that he'd outstretched for me, wrapping my lips around it and inhaling the burn.

Darius got a little nervous when he'd speak and I could see his cheeks tint if I ever smiled at him. I was never sure whether to keep smiling at him or just avoid his gaze in hopes that he wouldn't think anything of him and I. I don't care for him much. I care that he's smoking some good weed.