|| Disguised Sins ||

Chapter 45

Italian written with the help of Google Translate so if there are mistakes let me know. :)
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Maria.

Water pattered down on my face as I kept looking at the glass wall in front of me. Crouched on the floor, I hugged my knees to my chest tightly feeling the ache in my chest subdue.

All my life, everything was planned, months prior. I was never allowed to do what I want, what I liked, had a passion for. Always had to be perfect in front of others, always be polite, never question things if they are wrong because you are a girl, so always smile and be a good girl, don't ask for too much from others and be satisfied with what you have.

I blamed myself right now. The pain and emptiness made me feel heavier on my shoulders. I always avoided things because that was what our society instructed us to do. You see something wrong, keep your mouth shut, avoid and forget. You just put a smile on your face and avoid. Next, forget, forget about the hurt, forget the pain, forget the betrayal and then live your normal life like it never happened. But the thing no one told was that you never forget. It always stays with us to remind us that don't trust others or put our guard down. And now, I blame myself because I didn't listen to the fucking instructions. Those ridiculous rules I thought were not important but they all came backstabbing me.

I tried to make my whimpers stop by taking deep breaths. The warm water kept falling from the shower and closing my eyes, I calmed myself.

It was always a cage. I was just moved to a more luxurious one.

My thoughts were interrupted with a knock on the door making me look up from my knees.

"Amore? Maria, you there?" Hearing his voice only brought more tears to my eyes but I pushed them back. He sounds so caring, but it is all fake.

It was all a lie.

"Yeah, just h-had a hectic day." I try not to break my voice but failed. I hope he doesn't notice much though.

"Are you ok? You sound-"

"Tired. I am tired. I'll be out in a minute." I don't want to go out there. I just want to drown myself in water and disappear.

After getting out of the shower and dressing in my pyjamas and stepped outside to see Alesso sitting at the edge of the bed. He looked up to me and I just stood there, rigid. This is not going to be easy.

"Hi." My voice comes out a bit pitchy. Fuck this is so awkward. He frowns and walks to me making me take a step back and he stops in his tracks.

"Are you ok? You are acting a bit different." Worry was prominent in his voice making me swallow hard.

"Yeah, I just had a hard day at work." I try to push my hurt back but my eyes just keep pooling with tears making me turn away from him, not wanting to be seen crying. I wipe them as fast as I can but they just won't stop.

"Maria, tell me what happened. Did someone hurt you or say something to you?" He quickly came by my side and wiped the remaining tears away making me stiff at his contact.

These hands killed people.

I let out a shaky breath. I was scared if he would be angry if I told him that I know.

"Mum called today." I avoided his eyes when he held my face in his hands trying to look at me.

That's not a lie.

"Isn't that a good thing?" He frowns holding my face in his palm making me tilt my head not wanting to be close right now. But he let go with a bit of concern.