|| Disguised Sins ||

Chapter 52

Hello bitches!!

Early update, I know, RIP my fingers.

I am excited for you though ;)
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Alesso.

Everyone was here and embraced Maria into a hug as she put up a fake smile. I on the other hand just stood there with an emotionless face and shoved my hands in my pockets.

Personally, I don't like it when all the relatives come together, it's a lot of turmoil and I like my peace. But knowing Maria was missing her mom last month, I called them to give her a surprise however the timing was not that fortunate. I would have just walked upstairs ignoring all of them but knowing Maria needs support in this I stayed.

It's been two days since we found out about us having a miscarriage and Maria hasn't talked with me about it yet making me want to jump off a cliff. The guilt inside me was killing me knowing I was the cause of her having a miscarriage and losing one of our babies. The fact that the last two months have gone like shit makes me think about all its reasons and turns out it was all me.

"So, what did you do?" I was brought out of my thoughts to see my dad asking me with crossed arms making me run my fingers through my hair and let out a sigh.

"Nothing, everything is fine." I avoided his gaze knowing I can't lie to my father.

Don't get me wrong I am great at lying but not to my parents. I looked up to him to see him looking at me by giving me a 'you can't fool me' look. "Everything is fine."

"Don't make me regret giving Maria's hand to you for marriage." He said with a stern gaze and walked to the kitchen with my mom who looked very happy, probably because she can meet her favourite son, Matteo and daughter in law, Maria.

It's not like I hate Matteo it's just that he is a pain in the ass.

I kept looking at Maria as she talked with Anna and Angelo while I felt someone's eyes on me making me shift my gaze.

Theo.

He had his eyes narrowed at me, for no apparent reason but if I was in his place I would do the same, can't blame him there. I gave him a questioning gaze making him ignore me and slouch on the couch as if it was his bed.

See! this is why I don't like guests, especially Theo.

After having small talk, I guided Maria to our room and I couldn't help but feel hurt not hearing her voice for two whole days. I wish she at least showed me any type of emotions, I don't care if she blames me or yells at me or even hits me, I deserve that after what I did.

It was all my fault, I should have worn a condom because then I wouldn't have done this to her.

It was my fault, everything is always my fault. I always try to keep her out of these things but to only get pulled by me ten times harder. I was stupid, selfish and irresponsible and now she won't even look at me let alone speak to me.

I pulled my hair, feeling my blood boil and before I knew it, my fist went right through the closet door. I retreated my hand seeing it all bruised and bleeding having a few splinters poking my skin but it doesn't hurt as much as how losing something me and Maria created just vanished.

Words are not enough to describe I overwhelmed I feel right now, I was feeling so much grief and it was for a fetus I never even met or even knew about.

She hasn't spoken about losing the baby, and I know she is hurting and I would do anything in the world to help her but I don't know how. I wish I could have turned back time and changed it all but I can't. I can understand she needs her time and space but she needs to talk to me or someone, we need to discuss this. I don't want her to blame herself and knowing her, I know she will blame it upon herself.