𝓑𝓲𝓷𝓭 S. Aizawa

Chapter 93 | Lulled Along

"Damn." He repeated twice.

I anticipated his voice as I used it for an outlet, rolling myself to hit the finish.

I kept a pattern to make noises audible to his ears to pull him along as well.

Sweat dripped from my forehead and slid down the sides of my face as I rode, letting my fingers circle, and circle.

My eyes watered as I imagined what he looked like right now, sitting in the room beside me, listening to the sound of me.

A loud cry escaped from the depths of my throat, that thought being enough for me as that knot untied itself, reaching its climax. I had the idea of pressing my palm where my fingers had been to ride it out, and I did just that, rolling my eyes back.

Short after, I heard the loud moan of Aizawa, a thoughtful reassurance he wasn't that far behind me.

I listened to a rustle of clothes and then a door open, followed with silence.

What happened just now was so wrong, that never should have happened. How am I going to face him tomorrow? It felt too good, but I can't ever do that again. I can't because I'm afraid, afraid of the consequences.

I press my palms into my eyes and squeeze them shut. I press my palms so hard into my eyes it makes my head hurt as I try to deny the tears wanting to be let free.

"What am I even fucking doing?" I cry out.

This is so humiliating. Pinching the bite mark? What the hell, do I have a pain kink or something? I'm so frustrated, he can't think everything he does is okay, that he's just allowed to do it because he's a pro hero. I'm a pro hero too, but even I know what boundaries are.

Do I even regret what just happened? I'm trying to convince myself that I do but I know I really don't. What even is this? I'm humiliating myself messing around with him, this isn't going to turn out good for me. I've always wanted a relationship, and he's a big shot, a player, so I know I won't be getting that from him. That's why I need to break away from him and drift, I won't ever get what I desire if I cling to him. He's never done anything in my favor. What happened just a second ago was a mistake and I'm embarrassed, and I bet to anything he doesn't even care.

Everything I say feels so hollow and empty. I repeat and repeat what I say, trying to remind myself how terrible of a person he is but I continue to go along. I'm such a fucking hypocrite, I'm a joke. I don't want to be the girl that fucks around with a player, I don't ever want to be that girl. I want to run away so bad but I can't, I'm not clinging to him but a part of me is clinging to false hope. This false hope is going to get me hurt, bad.

I just hope I'm smart enough.

I wake up with my knees to my chest as I'm on my side. The ground is cold and I instantly sit up, realizing I'm naked. Tears threaten again and I bang the back of my head against the couch to stop them.

"What time is it?" I ask myself.

I look over to my shorts, spying my phone poking out of one of the pockets. I crawl over and snatch it.

My second class is almost done, the one I teach alone and I'm not even there. I'm going to get fucking fired because I had different room finger sex with my neighbor last night.

The tears that threatened to fall were now falling. I blinked fast to keep them from blurring my sight as I used the couch to help me to my feet. I hurried to shower and then sloppily picked out some clothes. I whipped myself up with things to make me look and smell better before I stormed out of my apartment.

My phone pinged with a text after I checked the time. It was 10 minutes into my last class, the one with Aizawa.

The notification was from Aizawa, "Class started, be here, now." I stiffened in anger, as I tried making my way to the cafe. The fuck does he care? Fuck off. I ignored the text as I went through the cafe grabbing a quick break-fast, eating, before I checked the time again.

20 minutes into my last class, I had an hour and 25 minutes to get to that class.

I took my sweet ass time as I made my way through the hallways, taking in my surroundings for the hundredth time. I looked down at my clothes, white button up with a white tank top and skinny jeans adding black flats. How utterly basic, whatever.

I reached the classroom.