My Love will Never Die..

Nobody Remains the same

The return from the crime scene was much more excruciating than both of them thought. Lucifer was eerily quiet in his passenger seat, most of the time he was stiff, looking out of the window, except the frequent glances at the Detective. She had both of her hands pinned to the steering wheel, pressed so hard that her knuckles drained any usual colour from it. She restrained herself from looking at Lucifer. She couldn’t.  The radio was off. And silence stretched like elastic. It was one of the rarest time that Lucifer wished to read people’s mind. He wanted to know what was she thinking. Maybe something, that didn’t even make her look towards him. Maybe something repulsie about him. Maybe she blamed him from Joan’s death. Well, there is no maybe in that. She did blame him for Joan’s death. Like Daniel, like all the others. He knew the next day he had the face the wrath of poor Joan’s family. He was used to all the blame. Humanity has been blaming him since the beginning of time. But not like this, not this close. And not this personally and definitely not be the people who mattered to him. The will to run out of the car, and to never look back at the Detective’s blaming and disappointing eyes was stifling him. The air in the car suddenly seemed suffocating. He pulled out his arms to draw the window down, but aborted midway, wincing in pain for his dislocated shoulders. Even then, Chloe didn’t look at him, neither asked whether he was okay. Why did he expect any reaction of the Detective to his pain? Why should he react?

He was the Devil. He could handle pain. And the Detective shouldn’t bother. But still, disappointment lashed at him like a whip. He wanted it to stop. To make the voices stop.

It was Uriel’s voice. His dear brother Uriel’s voice. “She hates you brother. Why wouldn’t she? You are a murderer, you killed your own brother, you killed her fiancé, you killed her friend! Who next? Will you kill Daniel? Her ex husband? Or even better will you kill Beatrice? Her only daughter and happiness? Or will you kill Ella Lopez her best friend? OR maybe much more…Linda? Or all of them?”

“STOP! Please stop brother!” Lucifer thought desperately, his head going to explode, for moments he was sinking, he was drowning.  Drowning into his own darkness and it seemed to have affected everyone else around him. “I didn’t mean to harm anybody! I..I didn’t want any of this!” He repeated into his head, like a mantra. Yet, Uriel’s voice cut him off.

“Yet, you are here brother. Look around. Look around yourself. You don’t have anybody near you. Everyone is afraid, everyone hates you. And deep down you know for yourself, that you deserve this.”

“I…I deserve this?...Why? Why do I deserve this? Just because I am the Devil?”  Lucifer thought. He needs air. He needs to breathe.

“No. Not because you are the Devil, brother. Because destruction is in your nature. You were created to destroy, to ruin, to create chaos. And that’s what makes you the Devil, not the other way round. And that’s why you don’t deserve love.”

“But…I I want love, I want people around me..” Lucifer thudded his head back along the headrest, closing his eyes shut. He wanted it to stop. His shoulders were throbbing painfully and his head was heavy with the injury. Being around Chloe also increased his pain.

“Now, THAT, isn’t that selfish brother? Aren’t you selfish brother? You want people around you, even though you know that hate you. You practically forcing them to be with you. So that does make you selfish and a violator of your own holy principle. Free will..”

“I.AM.NOT.SELFISH”

“You are.”

“NO!”

“You are brother.”

“I…I am?”

“Yes.”