Sam- "What did you do?"
Jake-"Alright, but you can't get mad at me..."
Colby- "Jake what did you do?!"
Jake- "Okay, first, I was minding my own business-"
Sam- *slams hands on table* "BULLSHIT!"
Jake- "I WAS!"
----
Sam- "I'm ambidextrous."
Colby- "That's what's up dude, love who you love."
----
Colby- "Sorry I called you an asshole, I thought you knew."
----
Kat- "Who's in charge up here?"
Jake- "Usually whoever yells the loudest."
----
Sam: HELP! I TOLD COLBY I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Jake, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?
----
Colby: What the fuck is wrong with you?!Sam: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.Colby: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!
----
Sam and Colby*walking by the mall*
Colby : hey look at that anti gay mob over there
Sam : what about them?
Colby : lets go up there and kiss in front of them to infuriate them *shit eating grin*
Sam : *trips on his own foot*
----
Sam, holding a python: Guys, I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him?
Colby: You did what?!
Jake: William Snakespeare.
----
*loud thudding noise*
Colby, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose: What was that?
Sam: A box fell down the stairs.
Colby: That sounded a lot louder than just a box.
Sam: ...Jake was in it.
----
Sam: WHY. Why did you give Colby a KNIFE?!
Tara: He said he felt unsafe.
Sam: Now I feel unsafe!
Tara:
Tara: ... would you like a knife?
----
Sam: What do you think Tara will do for a distraction?
Jake: She'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Colby: ... or she could do that.
----
Sam: *Stubs his toe* FUCK!
Sam's mom: Mind your language!
Sam: What else am I supposed to say, "Woe is I"???
YOU ARE READING
XPLR
FanfictionGod I swear this one is going to be more organized and hopefully way better. And to clarify, all of this is platonic. I do not ship them romantically, I believe they are each other's platonic soulmate and if you have a problem with that then leave.
