Colby: sSSSHIT- I BURNT MY LIP-
Sam: ...Why the fuck would you even drink coffee with a METAL STRAW in the FIRST PLACE??
Colby: TO SAVE THE TURTLES
---
Kat: *Answers phone.* Hello?
Sam: It's Sam.
Kat: What did he do this time?
Sam: No, it's me, Kat. It's actually me.
Kat: What did you do this time?
---
Jake: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.
Jake: *slow-mo walks out of the room*
---
Colby, watching power lines fall down: Sam, Nate! The town is exploding and it's very pretty!
---
Sam: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?
Colby: Neither.
Colby: Because it's twelve.
---
Jake: I drink to forget but I always remember.
Tara: You're drinking orange juice.
---
Sam: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on.
---
Jake: fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when I was 8... still fits
---
Corey: I'm proud to say I've come over my fear of ghosts!
Colby: Eyy, that's the spirit!
Corey: *gasps* whErE???!!!??
---
Tara: [gets mad and starts yelling]
Jake: I didn't know so much rage could fit in such a small creature.
---
Sam: It's locked. You got a lock pick?
Nate: Yeah-
Colby: *kicks in the door*
---
Sam: Can I be frank with you guys?
Jake: Sure, but I don't see how changing your name is gonna help.
Colby: Can I still be Colby?
Corey: Shh, let Frank speak.
---
Cop: You ran a red light.
Sam: So did you, hypocrite.
Cop: I was following you.
Sam: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver.
Cop: Get out.
----
*In a horror movie situation*
Sam: I've got no service on my phone here.
Colby: Shoot, my battery just died.
Corey: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer.
Jake: Guys, my phone is a book.
---
Colby: Jake! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.
Jake: *Blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.
---
Colby: Don't get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me...
---
Nate, looking at a selfie of Seth's: I hate this photo.
Seth: I'm cute as fuck in that photo! I'm smiling kindly.
Nate: You're not smiling kindly; you look like you're up to something.
Seth: Up to kindness.
---
Sam: *Screams*
Colby: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
Seth: Should we do something?
Nate: No, I want to see who wins
---
YOU ARE READING
XPLR
FanfictionGod I swear this one is going to be more organized and hopefully way better. And to clarify, all of this is platonic. I do not ship them romantically, I believe they are each other's platonic soulmate and if you have a problem with that then leave.
