Jake: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.
Sam: I've witnessed a lot of dumb stuff.
Corey: I've recorded a lot of dumb stuff.
Colby: I've joined in on a lot of the dumb stuff.
Tara: IVE TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING A LOT OF THE DUMB STUFF!
---
Sam: Are you okay?
Colby, crying: yeah it's just these onions
Sam: Yo! What the fuck did you say to my best friend?
---
Colby: I am the ultimate third wheel
Sam cuddling with Kat: you shouldn't think that way, colbs
Jake holding hands with Tara: yeah, what makes you say that?
Corey fully making out with Devyn: completely untrue.
Colby: wow, I have fully leveled up to the seventh wheel. I am powerful.
---
Elton: what took you two so long?!
Sam: we saw a cat on the way here
Elton: COREY AND I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TWO FOR TWO HOURS!
Colby: IT WAS A CUTE CAT OKAY?!
---
Brennen, on twitter: "without ugly in the world, there would be no beautiful"
Brennen haters, commenting: "Thank you so much for your sacrifice"
---
Colby: how do you feel about this? how do you feel, about us?
Jake, checking mood ring: I feel uh, green I guess
---
Jake: I feel no emotions
Colby: You cried watching Bambi.
Sam: and The Lion King.
Aaron: and Moana.
Jake: Okay, well how about you all shut the fuck up?
---
Jake: Sorry I was late, I was doing things.
Colby: *bursts through the door noticeably disheveled* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!
---
Colby, lying face down on the floor: Life is meaningless.
Jake: Well I knew that, care to elaborate?
Colby: We're out of Oreos.
Sam: Of course that's why you're having an existential crisis.
---
Sam: If I were a drink I would be Cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink what would you be?
Colby: Bleach
Jake: Sewage
Sam: Please calm down edgelords
---
Aaron: I hate you!
Colby: I hate myself too bitch, you aren't special!
Aaron: Bro, we've talked about this.
---
Sam: Why would someone want to hurt Colby?
Jake:
Colby:
Corey:
Elton: Maybe because they met him?
---
Colby: love is dead
Jake: you're literally making a Valentine's Day card for Sam right now.
Colby pointing a glue gun at him: you're on thin fucking ice.
---
Jake: Hey, Colbs? Can you give me the opposite of these words?
Jake: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.
Colby: Never, Going, To, Give, You...
Colby:
Jake, with a shit-eating grin:
Colby: The fucking satisfaction.
---
Jake: I tried to write 'I'm a functional adult' but my phone changed it to 'fictional adult' and I feel like that's more accurate.
---
Colby: *tasting what's cooking in the pot*
Colby: This soup has absolutely no taste.
Sam, putting down a box of pasta: ...I'm boiling water.
Colby: *tastes again*
Colby: Well, in that case it's delicious.
---
YOU ARE READING
XPLR
FanfictionGod I swear this one is going to be more organized and hopefully way better. And to clarify, all of this is platonic. I do not ship them romantically, I believe they are each other's platonic soulmate and if you have a problem with that then leave.
