burning bibles ; phan [COMPLETED]

♡ creme filled ♡

1989

phil

it was raining. and i was still staring at this same ugly texture ceiling. it looked like cottage cheese. it was august finally. finally time for senior year. summer was brutal. i worked all summer to keep my mind away from things i shouldn't be thinking. also to keep away from mother. it seemed like over the years she was just getting more and more difficult to deal with.

i got out of bed at the last possible moment before i'd be late and put on that stupid school uniform, just navy pants and white button up and what ever sweater or vest i wanted to wear.

time for another day in hell. it's funny how my highschool was in a church yet it felt closer to hell than anywhere else i'd ever been. before leaving, i grabbed my gray sweater and brown back pack and said goodbye to mother who was making coffee in the kitchen.

pulling the gray sweater over my shirt, i stepped outside. the weather was actually pretty chilly today, it was strange. the sky was cloudy and gray and sprinkling rain. the flowers in the graveyard even seemed like they needed water or sun. it would most likely warm up later today though. i kept walking through the neighborhood. the houses got nicer and nicer as i walked. then finally the church.

i began to see more of the other kids walking up the school entrance of the church. and then, there he was.

i have had a crush on dan howell for years. since the moment i saw him in the church when we first moved here. dan...he was...well, he was kind of an asshole. always causing fucking trouble and smoking weed in the gardens behind the school and even in the cemetery by my house.

i could see him from my window sometimes. and i just couldn't get over my feelings for him. i could see past his bad boy image, he was different.

today his uniform vest was over top his button up shirt but his collar was popped up and his sleeves were unbuttoned and rolled up, exposing the litter of tattoos on his arms. the amount of times i had imagined those arms around me was disgusting. he was addicting. if only he was gay...or bisexual or something, something to give me a chance to be with him. i've never actually seen him date anyone publicly.

there's always been rumors about him with girls and i think most of them were just made up to get his attention, but it didn't work. it's like he did everything to be a bad boy and make girls fall for him but he didn't pay any attention to them at all, as far as i know of. it was crazy that he was the baddest and hottest guy at school yet, he's never even had a girl friend, again, that we know of.

he disappeared into the building so i just began to follow the crowds and head my locker to get my books. i wasn't excited for this year except for the fact is was senior year and i could leave this town as soon as it was over.

as i pulled out my books, chris came up to me looking annoyed.

"your boyfriend fucking annoying," he grumbled and leaned against the locker next to mine.

"not my boyfriend chris," i sighed and closing the metal door.

"he was trying to prank ms. randall again, i swear he's going to cause us misery in her class this year. also, are you finally gonna try to ask him out, it's your last chance?"

"i don't know chris...i just don't think it's worth it-"

"what's not worth it?" said a voice. i turned to see him standing there, staring at us.