burning bibles ; phan [COMPLETED]

♡ salted caramel ♡

phil

dan slowly let our lips part, his hand under my chin fell down to his side. i noticed how red his face was, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes looked watery and red. his eyes were always like that though since he smoked all the time but they looked different today. they were wide and scared looking.

"can you come outside and talk?" he asked, "meet me in the cemetery?"

i nodded, "i'll be right there." dan's painful eyes looked less sad when he smiled at me. i tried to smile back but i was nervous. i could always tell when something wasn't right with him.

i closed the window as he began to walk to the graveyard. i pulled the curtains closed. i needed to get myself together. most the day i laid in bed and cried. dan told me not to go to school today since i was up most of the night crying and bandaging my arm. i needed the rest. but of course when i refused to get up this morning and told mother i was sick she insisted on staying home with me. i heard her when dan try to come visit me this morning i was screaming inside my head for him. i wanted to run out and push mother out of the way and jump into his arms. but i couldn't. i was trapped.

i peeled off the pajamas i had been wearing all
day and grabbed sweat pants and a sweater to cover
my bandaged arm. nervously i opened my bedroom
to walk out into the living room.

mother had the tv on, the news in the background as she read her bible. she glanced up at me as i approached her.

"phil," she said calmly. i was shaking.

"hi mother, i'm, i'm uh...feeling better. can i go for a walk for some fresh air?" i asked trying to steady my breaths but i was trembling.

she nodded, "just to the church and back, it will be dark soon."

i could feel the burning of the cuts on my wrist. it was like when i got near her they hurt more. they were still so fresh this morning. the bleeding had stopped last night but they were raw and painful. if i bumped it on anything i would almost yelp in pain. she thought she was holy, she was doing gods work when really she was working for the devil in disguise. i pitied mothers ignorance. how could she not see god was right in front of her the whole time? in the form of a teenage boy named daniel.

i walked to the front door and slipped on my shoes. i took one last look at the back of her head before i walked out and closed the door behind me. finally i could breathe.

•

i met dan in the cemetery. he was standing in the back corner, were some of the oldest headstones in our town were. a lot dated back to the eighteen hundreds. dan smiled at me when i approached him. his hands reached for my waist and he pulled me into his chest. i could feel his heart racing. his touch still gave me butterflies. i hugged him back tightly, gripping onto the bottom of his shirt. the cinnamon scent was all i could focus on. sweet and spicy. it was dan's exact personality; cinnamon.

finally we let go of each other, even though i thought i could have held on to him for longer.

"phil, i uh..i gotta tell you something," dan said with a sigh. his eyes looked heavy and sad. this wasn't going to be something good, i already knew. i tried to brace myself but i couldn't even think of anything horrible dan could tell me because i didn't want to believe it. i wasn't ready.

"okay," i replied, i tried to take a deep breath but i was shaking. my throat felt dry.

"well," dan twiddling his finger together, he tried to make eye contact with me but he kept glancing at his shoes, "i'm kinda of in some deep shit..with my dad."