Falling Stars [h.s]

Chapter 67

Aurora

"That's okay. It's okay you don't know how to love me. That just proves more that we aren't destined to be together because if you truly do love someone you will know how to love them. You will know how to give them the love and appreciation they deserve."

"I'm trying so hard."

"You don't have to anymore. When I first met you, all I saw was a beautiful man in deep pain with a troubled past who was in need of love. Or so I thought. My judgement was clouded by the pain you exhilarated onto me and for some reason I believed I could heal you and make you fall in love with me by filling your voids and emptiness. Eventually I realized my love wasn't enough to fill your emptiness. Odyssey told me once; A men who manipulates a women into believing they love them don't really love you. They just love how you love them when in reality the feeling they are holding inside towards this women is hatred."

"I could never hate you Aurora."

"I need someone who will know how to love me."

Harry stood up, now standing in front of me. "When it comes to relationships you can't always have your head wrapped around wanting or receiving love. It is so much more than that. Constantly yearning and seeking for love isn't going to help a relationship grow."

"Why can't I yearn for the one thing I deserve? You're right you know. Constantly searching for love doesn't help a relationship grow, but if you aren't receiving even an ounce of it from your partner then what is the point? Why are we in this if not to love each other? You make me feel replaceable Harry. You're not genuine with me when it comes to your feelings. You are too focused on your own needs to see just how much I am suffering. You don't even see my needs. I don't want to feel worthless because I know I am worth more than I know, but you Harry, you make me feel worthless. I know you are capable of showing and giving more than you led on. I've watched you leave me to be with Priscilla before. I know you are capable of love. But it seems like every time I try and take two steps forward towards our life together you take one step back. I wasn't sure of what I really wanted before but I know now. I can't go back to the way things used to be. I have finally come to a point in my life where I know who I am and what I want. I can't go on selling myself short because you aren't certain about your feelings. I can't repeat the past. I've given my all to you. My heart and soul, but it seems as though you don't want any part of it. I am not a temporary solution for you to use until you find the answers you are in search of. I need to be with someone who wants to be with me. Someone who will value me. Someone who will choose me. I know your intentions are not to hurt me but it feels that way. You are hurting me in ways I can't even begin to explain. I think it's time for me to choose myself. I don't think I can do this anymore Harry. I need to take a step back and learn how to love myself again. I want a happy ending."

He shook his head with a scuff of his mouth, "We're not a fairytale."

"Fairytales are about fulfilling your dreams and standing up for what you believe in. I believe in love. I believe in happily ever afters."

"Life is not a fairytale Aurora! You have read some many books and yet you're still hung up on fairytales. You need to get your head out of the clouds and come back down to the real world. This is reality. If you want even the smallest ounce of the slightest chance at real true love and a happy ending you need to get real. Love isn't made up of rainbows, butterflies and happy endings. There are going to be obstacles thrown your way. When you love someone there are going to be days were you disagree, days you will fight, but at the end of the day that's all okay because that is what true love is. Getting past the disagreements through communication is what love is all about. That's reality."

His words hit me pretty hard. It actually made me think back to a time when I was living the fairytale dream. With Elijah. I hadn't thought of him in so long, but now, hearing Harry say all this made me realize that I've been trying to hard to make my relationship with Harry like it was with Elijah. Everything seemed much simpler and beautiful with Elijah. Love was rainbows and butterflies. Life was definitely a fairytale then, our love was true and with him I felt like I already had my happily ever after. There was no need for me to get my head out of the clouds because together, Elijah and I were on cloud nine. He made everything better and he never once tried to crush my dreams of a happy ending.

I realize I can't have the same type of love I had with Elijah again. He was my first love and it was the only love I knew that was true. It was love for what I knew love to be. But that doesn't mean I can't try. That doesn't give Harry the right to try and crush my dreams. I know one day I will get my fairytale ending, even if it isn't with Harry.

"Just two months ago you were telling me to never give up on my fairytale ending. You said there is no love without imagination. So how can you stand here in front of me now and tell me to get over it? Basically telling me to give up on my imagination, my dreams, on my happy ending. I know what's real and what's not Harry. I can assure you that I am capable of telling the two apart. You giving up on accomplishing our happily ever after tells me what you're really given up on is me and if you can easily give up on me then it makes me question wether you were really down with me or it was all just a part of this little game you seem to constantly play. 7 years ago I was afraid of letting go of someone because not because I thought I was going to lose them but because I was afraid of losing my potential Prince Charming. I thought that person was you. Today you made me realize that person was never you. All along it's been Elijah that I was afraid of completely losing. I've come to accept my reality. I've learned to separate my dreams from reality and that is why I was able to let go of Elijah. Even though he was the only person in this world who truly knew how to love me. He understood what it was to love me with real passion."

"I'm sorry I can't live up to his expectations."

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