Falling Stars [h.s]

Chapter 54

Harry

"No."

"What the hell do you mean no Harry? Sign the papers!"

"I can't sign them Priscilla. I don't want to."

"Please just sign it so all this can be over. I can't keep going on like this anymore Harry. You clearly don't realize the damage you are causing me. All this pain you are causing me sooner or later will make me fall into the depression I tried so hard to dig myself out of. I can't go back Harry. I can't take leaps back into my past. We need to move on past this. I can't keep going back and forth with you about this everyday, I just can't. I don't have the strength nor energy. I can't deal with this one step forward two steps back mentality anymore. So please, sign the papers and make this divorce official so we can move on with our lives."

I knew if I signed those papers Priscilla and I will no longer have any means of connection. I want to be with Aurora, there was no doubt of that, but I wasn't ready to let go of Priscilla. I know it's selfish of me and unfair to her. To them both. Why couldn't I just sign the papers and let her have a clear mind?

The truth was I didn't want her to move on. I didn't want Priscilla to be with anyone new. She was mine. Since we were teenagers she has always been mine and the idea of letting her go now didn't seem right. I knew the right thing for me to do was to sign the divorce papers and let her go, but I couldn't bring myself to even pick up the pen. Even if the divorce was my idea at first, I'd never seen myself actually going through with it. The idea of Priscilla being with someone other than me broke my heart and I know that wasn't fair of me. It was unfair of me to think like that when I am currently the one breaking her heart by being with someone else.

I also know if I sign those papers now and our divorce becomes official, I would have failed as a father to all my children. I already feel like I've failed Alaska; and I did, that much was true. I wasn't there for her before and I'm barely even there for her now. I couldn't let the same happen with Harper and Oliver. I want to be there for them through everything. Every little thing I want to be around to witness. I can't do that if Priscilla and I go our separate ways.

"I can't sign them, I'm sorry."

"Why are you doing this Harry? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you making me feel like this!"

"I'm sorry."

"Is this a joke to you? Am I a joke to you? Do you find entertainment in my pain Harry, is that why you are doing this?"

"None of this is a joke Priscilla."

"It must really be. I must be a fucking joke to you because if you truly did love me like you say, you would not make me feel the way I am right now. The Harry I knew would never do something like this. The Harry Styles I fell in love with did everything in his will power to keep pain away from me, not be the cause of it."

"I do love you P. I never wanted to hurt you or cause you pain I swear it."

"You don't love me."

"I do."

"Just sign the papers please and ease my pain. I'm giving you an out Harry, why are you fighting me on this? I'm allowing you to freely be with Aurora, if she makes you happy then I can't stop you from being with her. What more can I possibly do to make you see my undying love for you? If I don't make you happy anymore then I won't force you to be in this marriage. I'm done fighting Harry. Sign the papers and send them in."

"What about our kids?"

"I won't keep you from seeing them H. I can't stop you from seeing them, you are their father why would I want to take that away from them? I don't want to make this a legal action. We can work something out, but for now I think it's best if you find some place else to stay."

I stood up from the bed and walked over to her. "I want to be here with you."

"Don't make this harder than it has to be Harry. You made it clear that Aurora is the one you want to be with so go be with her. We had something great once. We tried to prove that a high school love could last more than just those four years but I guess we were wrong and everyone that doubted us turned out to be right. Thank you for being my high school sweetheart and thank you for teaching me how to love, but most importantly how to love myself first. I will always love you babe, I want you to know no matter what happens between us you always have a home to come to at the end of the day if you ever feel alone."

I brought my hands up to her cheeks and gently pressed my forehead against hers, "Can I kiss you?"

"Why?"

"Why not? You're my wife."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"You can kiss me."

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