Falling Stars [h.s]

Chapter 58

Aurora

I racked my brain for possible reasons why Harry would lie. He could have told me the true; I would have been able to handle it. What if he isn't lying? What if the process of the divorce did actually take that long? I didn't want to think the worst. Just yesterday he told me to have faith in him and trust him. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe everything thing he told me, but it was hard when he's made me second guess everything. When in the past his words were all lie. I was trying to convince myself into believing he was telling the truth about the finalization of the divorce, but I knew better. I knew better then to actually believe it takes eight months to finalize a divorce. Odyssey has worked many divorce cases, she knows for certain it only takes up to three months. Why would he lie?

I shook my head and let out a deep breath, trying to get rid of the thoughts. I need to get ready for work as well as prepare food for my guests, they were to arrive within twenty minutes.

I stood in front of the mirror and stared into the eyes of my reflection. I didn't know who I was anymore or even what I was doing for that matter. I found myself deteriorating more and more each day. Is this love? Is love supposed to make you feel as if you are losing your true self and transgressing into something you're not? Who was I to blame but myself? I saw all the signs. I tried to be oblivious to it at first, to ignore it. I convinced myself Harry was a different person from who he was years ago. He convinced me he was. I pictured this person in my mind that wasn't really who he was or who I wanted him to be. That was my fault. I expected too much and my imagination got the best of me. I failed to separate the fantasy from reality.

I watched through the mirror as Odyssey came into the bedroom and stood behind me in "I finished making the chicken fajitas"

"Okay thank you. The rice shouldn't take long to make."

"Are you okay my love?"

"I'm fine."

"I can talk to Harry if you want and find out where he and Priscilla stand."

"That's not a good idea."

"How about I get Zayn to talk to him?"

"No. I can talk to him myself."

"I never said you couldn't Aurora. I'm only trying to help."

"Thank you for trying, but I don't need help."

"Okay."

"I'm going to go finish preparing the food."

•

Soon after preparing brunch and setting the table, Louis,Liam,Niall and Mery had arrived. After eating we spent the time catching up and discussing tomorrow's wedding.

"How is Harry treating you?" Liam asked me curiously.

"How did you know it was Harry?"

"It was always going to be Harry."

"Am I really that predictable?"

I didn't know how to feel about everyone thinking I was all about Harry. Was I really to choose him every time no matter I come across any other men? Did they think I couldn't possibly live without him? That wasn't the case at all. Yes I liked the idea of having Harry in my life as more than a friend, but I would also like people to know I have options and Harry necessarily isn't always the choice. Did I believe that?

"Being predictable isn't a bad thing, but I'd say it's more because everyone knows how you felt about him throughout the years and given the chance to be with him again you wouldn't pass up that opportunity."

"I don't think I know myself how I feel anymore."

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know honestly. I thought my relationship with Harry was going good. I thought we were on the same track regarding the future and such, but I'm starting to believe we are on two completely different paths if I'm being honest."

"Sometimes it's okay to be on different paths as long as you both find your way to the intersection in the end."

"It isn't that simple."

"What seems to be the problem Aurora?"

"I have a feeling he is still romantically with Priscilla. I also believe he is having a hard time leaving her. I know it's not easy to leave a relationship you've been in for so long, I get that it's not easy, but I just wish he would put me first for once you know? It isn't fair to me to have to be his second choice once again."

"Are you certain he is still with Priscilla?"

"I'm not completely certain but the signs are there. I don't want to waste time anymore overthinking wether or not this one guy wants to be with me when there is someone who actually wants to be with me."

"He may want to be with you, but do you want to be with him? You should ask yourself do you want to leave Harry in order to be with Odysseus for the sole purpose of him being in love with you. Are you really willing to put him through the same pain you are currently enduring and trying to avoid for your need of love?"

I couldn't deny everything he was saying was the truth. I was so desperate for love that I was willing to kindle a possible relationship with Odysseus. But I could never put him through such pain. I can't. He is too pure for me to even try an harm. How selfish of me.

"You're right, I am not willing to do that to him, but I still stand on my decision. I'm going to end my relationship with Harry. For my own sake."

"How about I talk to him before you do that? I can get you a clear explanation of what is going on with him and if he plans on leaving Priscilla or not."

"Is it worth it?"

"It's worth a try."

"Okay."

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