Arabelle.

Unspoken.

What is love if the butterflies in your stomach are dead?
Umbriel, Arabelle loves you.
Umbriel, why can't you love yourself?
Umbriel wasn't the type to fall in love, but oh Joseph got her under the love spell. Was he aware that her hurt her that night though?
" You're selfish "
She's selfish because she feels like no on loves her? She's selfish because she feels like no one care? That makes no sense. She feels this way because a stupid mental illness swallowed her whole and now she's drowning in the unseen rivers.
" People have it worse "
I'm not going to lie, people do have it worse, but that does not mean that her problems seize to exist. That's like saying to a happy person
" People have it better ". Just because someone has it better means you can't be happy? Just because someone has it worse means you can't be sad?
" Make her feel like she wants to be alive ",
Arabelle said,
but what did you do? the exact opposite. You made her want to change the date from May 23rd to a closer day. She loves you, she is completely and utterly in love with you. Can't you see that? And all you tend to do is hurt her, why? How can you hurt the ones you love the most? You hurt her, and I can not say that enough. You hurt her.
Arabelle was mad. She knew he would never understand. If she could, she would let Joseph walk a mile in her shoes, but that just couldn't happen. Joseph, you don't understand. You will never understand. She was on the verge of killing herself, and you made it worse. Just because she doesn't believe that she loves you doesn't mean you can be a complete fucking asshole about it.
Umbriel, Joseph loves you.
Umbriel, why can't you except love?
" I didn't want this ! "
We know, no one wants to have a mental illness that ruins your life. It kind of just happens. The worst part is, is that it's incurable.
Her eyes were blood shot red because of Joseph, but she chose to keep quiet. She left her feelings unspoken, and that's something Arabelle and Umbriel don't have in common; because if Arabelle feels like shit, she will tell that someone, that is making her feel like shit, that they need to change. Umbriel on the other hand couldn't do such a thing. She was too scared, too closed off. At the end of the day though, it happened. Umbriel went up to Arabelle and told her that Joseph and her talked about it. She was no longer sad, and that made Arabelle happy. Something about peoples smile made Arabelle want to smile.
Joel's smile was her favourite. Ever since she met him she could not stop thinking about the way he smiles, and his voice, but she never spoke a word about how happy he made her. Unspoken. Her feelings of happiness were unspoken. She would always tell people when they are doing wrong, but she never told them when they were doing right. Arabelle just realized that she has living her life horribly. How can someone go around and just think of the negative? Why couldn't Arabelle say thank you to someone for making her happy?
She was always too scared to be happy, because it always ended up with her being sad again. That's the cycle. Sad, happy, sad, happy. It goes on forever. So yes, you're going to have bad days, they're not going to stop, but I am 100% sure it will get better. You will have the life you always wanted, but you can not just sit around and mope. You have to make it happen. So what are you doing? Make it happen.