Arabelle.

Smile.

I thought you'd make me want to feel alive, but all you did was make me want to die even more.

" Fuck you. "
" I cared for you. "
" Fuck you. "
Joel, Arabelle was hurt. She showed true concern. She fell in love, and what did you do? You hurt her. Hurt. You had the power to hurt her, and you did it without any hesitation. Yeah, it wasn't a big deal, but you did it. You fucking hurt her so much.
" Why does Arabelle think I hate her ? "
Look around you. Look at how you treat her. People only see the cover up. The way you treat her in public, but behind closed doors you're a complete asshole. She hates you. She loves you. She loved you. She's going to move on from you, she's going to leave. She has no more hope in you two ever becoming something, so she's done. She'll still talk to you but they'll be half-assed conversations.
" Hey "
" Hi "
" What you doing? "
" Nothing "
" Oh "
"' K "
That type of shit.
She's done trying. All you ever did was make her hate herself even more. You probably don't know it, but you did.
She knows about what you are going through and all she did was tell you, and show you, that she cared. So why did you ignore her? Why did you treat her like she wasn't important? You haven't asked her how she was doing in a while. You haven't showed concern. A simple
"'Are you okay? "
could've saved her, but you didn't give that to her.
What happened to when you cared? Why did you show her you cared when you were going to take it all away and leave? She's hurt. She hardly felt anything anymore, but you made her feel. You made her happy at one point. She missed those times. She missed when you cared, but that'll never happen again.

Arabelle, You are strong. Don't let this ruin you. Don't let some repulsive cunt make you feel less of yourself. You don't deserve this. You deserve better. Make yourself believe that because it is true. Tap your foot, pop your knuckles, and bite your inner cheek because you're anxious as hell to know what will happen in the future, but don't convince yourself that you are not good enough. You are good enough. You will fall in love, and it may end on a bad note, but it's okay. You will get hurt when you fall in love.
It's.
Okay.
To.
Get.
Hurt.
You will heal yourself. Yeah, that's right. You don't need anyone else to heal you. You can heal yourself. Don't depend on other people to make you happy.
People know how hard it is to fall in and out of love but you will find that one person who will make you feel fireflies in your stomach instead of moths. He isn't worth the tears, or the cuts, he isn't worth it. If you want to show him that you're better without him then smile. Smile. Why would you show someone that they are destroying you? To give them power? Don't give them the satisfaction. You will find that person who makes you happier than life itself, but right now you need to love yourself. You need to accept yourself before you accept love. You will get what you want once you get what you need.