Arabelle.

Why?

Love does not exit, it is just an infatuation.
It was a Friday, Arabelle remembers it so perfectly. The day she wanted the world to stop, just to grab his fragile hand.
It was a big party, lets call it the " Prom After Party " , It was hectic. Arabelle was too scared to even attend, but she did because Joel would be there. Of course she dragged Umbriel into going to the party, and Umbriel dragged Joseph also. When Arabelle arrived it was bursting with louds sounds that some people call " music ". She saw Joel right away.
" Should I talk to him? "
" Yeah, LOOK! he's looking over here "
Umbriel said as Arablle turned her head and saw Joel approaching her.
she whispered " fuck. " underneath her breath. She didn't know what to say to him. She just wanted to forget him.
" Hey "
he said so smoothly as if he practiced saying it a thousand times.
" Hi. "
Arabelle was trying to find words to say to spark up the conversation, but it didn't happen.

Joel was 5'4", Brown hair that sat on his head, and a smile to die for. He was 16 and in a band, a " scream-o " band, he was a vocalist. He wasn't very social unless he was comfortable with you, which made Arabelle think he wasn't very comfortable with her. Arabelle laughed at all his lame jokes, even when they weren't funny, and she loved the way he would scream songs underneath his breath.

" Guess what? "

" What? "

" We have kegs, and TONS of liquor "
Arabelle enjoyed drinking, getting her mind off of things mostly. She was only 15, but who the fuck bothers to care? Joel tore Arabelle from Umbriel and Joseph and led her to the kitchen.
" Here's a drink "
she grabbed it, as it fell down her throat she could tell that it was straight up vodka. She's going to get fucked up tonight. Joel took two shots and they started having a conversation about the usual, it led from Umbriel and Joseph to how they first started talking.
" I never thanked you for telling me that Abby was cheating on me "
Arabelle can feel her face getting red, if it weren't for the liquor she would've never said what she said next.
" Yeah, A couple days ago I realized if i never told you we would've never started talking, and i'd probably be happier "
Joel gave her a look.
A look Arabelle will never forget.
" What do you mean? "
" Well, I like you, and you know that but it kind of sucks seeing you with someone else, you know? I mean, I know i'll never have a chance with you because of my - "
He stopped her.
" Shut up. You're rad as fuck. "
Arabelle didn't know whether to be happy that he just called her rad, or be sad that he blew her off while she was explaining her feelings. Thoughts were going crazy in her head.
" Plus, Kasey isn't here with me, you are. "
Arabelle felt safe.
She liked the way she felt when she was around him. She liked his smile. She likes his laugh. His hair. Everything. Thing was, Joel didn't like her at all. He was in love with Kasey. In love. What a phrase. What does it mean to be in love? How do you know? Does it just happen?
Umbriel and Joseph were the couple that would drink together and make out non-stop in the corner of the living room. At a party there was always that one kid who said
" Oh my gosh, How wasted am I? "
Arabelle and Joel talked for hours; drank for hours.
" Joel? "
" Yeah Arabelle? "
" Do you.. Do you like me? "
Joel took a while
" .. As a friend.. "
Arabelle bursted into tears right in front of him. It could've been the liquor, or maybe it was the fact that she held in her feelings for too long.
" I'm sorry "
Arabelle repeated overs, and overs.
Umbriel saw her crying so she went over to her
" What the fuck? Are you okay? "
" No. "
Arabelle was done, with everything. She went upstairs with Umbriel as the whole party watched tears fall down her rose coloured cheeks. When they got into the room it was quiet, until Arabelle spoke.
" I'm so stupid, I shouldn't have said anything, I shouldn't have fallen in love, I need to forget him, I hate myself, I hate myself "
She cried harder.
Umbriel didn't know what to do, there's no way to mend a broken heart.
" Why ? "
Umbriel asked.
Why.
Why was Arabelle's favourite question.
Why did she hate herself, because of some guy? That's stupid. She shouldn't hate herself some guy taught her how to.
" Everyone leaves, Umbriel, everyone leaves. No one likes me, and he loves Kasey. What am I supposed to do ?! "
It got quiet because they heard foot steps.
A knock on the door and a quick turn of the knob ruined Arabelle's life.
" Hey? "
It was Joel.
Umbriel gave Arabelle a look and left.
Joel sat next to Arabelle in silence for a couple of minutes.
" I'm really sorry.. "
" It's fine, I don't expect people to like me. "
Arabelle was giving off an attitude.
She couldn't even remember her own name, but all she could think about was Joel.
She stared at his hands as they were calmly laying on the sides of the bed. She wanted to hold them. She wanted to hold him. She simply could not though. So, she got up and left. She left the party, she left him, she left. Joel chased after her
" Where are you going? "
" What are you doing? "
" Stop. "
" You're too drunk to drive. "
as she left she thought to herself
" How wasted am I ? "