Arabelle.

Breathe.

I remember the first time you kissed me you said you waited a long time to do so, did you wait a long time to leave me also?

" Joel,
This might sound harsh, and you will never want to talk to me ever again, but I hate you. I hate you so much. I used to be in love with you but I no longer want to feel a thing. The only way I can stop from feeling is if I were dead, and that sounds completely fine to me. I may end my life because of you. You hurt me, and i'm pretty sure you know that. You treat me like shit, and you make me cry. You make me feel when I don't want to feel a thing and this wasn't a good feeling, no, this was a feeling of despair, complete and utter agony. I lay in my bed at 2am just thinking of you. Thinking of how we could've gone some place, but I know I'll never mean anything to you. It hurts. It hurts me so much knowing I gave you my all and you just forgot about me. Is it that easy to forget me? It's because i'm nothing, isn't it? I'm nothing special. I'm nothing like Kasey. I never will be. She's beautiful and i'm just a ball of depression, and disgust. I'll never be anything to you. I really did care for you, I cared so much that I fell in love with you. I'm so scared of falling in love, I'm so scared of sharing my feeling but for you I did those things. I wish I never did though, I wish i never met you. I would happier. You used to treat me so well though, you used to be so nice. What happened to that? Did you find out the real me and wanted to leave? Of course. No one ever wants to stay with someone like me. I'm sorry. "

Arabelle wish she could tell Joel those words, but she just couldn't. She didn't want to lose him. He meant the world to her, if he knew it or not.

Arabelle was devastated. Full of tears, her eyes were. Full of cuts, her arms were. She wanted to be dead all because of Joel. Why must people treat others like shit? She couldn't breathe right.
Breathe Arabelle.
Breathe.
She knew from the beginning that this would end on a bad note, but she couldn't do anything to stop it.

" I care about you, Joel, and you don't even stop to ask how i'm doing. You don't even care if I were alive or not. You just don't care about me. "

Tears fell through her closed eye lids, falling down to her cheeks, how could someone so broken break more? She was already on the floor, broken into pieces. Yet you picked up her pieces, like you were going to glue them back together, but you didn't. You just threw them on the floor again.

When people say that they love you, do they even mean it?
If yes, how would you know?
If no, how would you know?
How do you know if someone loves you?
How.

This is Arabelle's problem, she simply could not tell.
She was broken. No longer can be put together. She was done.