Child's Play - A Hermitcraft 8 AU

I need a hero to save me now - Mumbo

Summary: Local spoon makes a mess of himself and instead of being the super hero he wants to be, others have to be the hero for him.

Call [redacted] if spoon is found in midst of a panic attack or needs a hug.

OR

5 times Mumbo needed someone else to be the hero for him and 1 time he was able to be that hero for someone else.

Warnings: Mental health issues such as depression-esc themes and what could be considered attributed to an eating disorder. May want to skip out on this one if that bugs you. An explanation of the chapter will be at the end if you do skip. 

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Last Life had left a sort of hollow feeling in Mumbo's throat. That sort of want to cry but you can't. And he couldn't. Maybe it was after doing so much of it when first getting home from Last Life, and then again when Grian, Pearl, and Scar all went back there. Maybe there were just no more tears left to cry.

It still hurt.

Why did it still hurt? It was just a game!

"How did I go insane like that?" He thought back to those few moments where he let himself be controlled by bloodlust. Those few moments where he went with his gut—he went with instinctual feelings and fought as if his mind was never constantly riddled with anxiety.

"Why did I—" Mumbo fiddled around with redstone circuits as he tried to make sense of the jumble in his head. "How did I even do it?" he muttered. (He wasn't sure how much of him was proud that he was able to play to his strengths of end crystals or how much of him was disappointed that he fell so fast.)

If anyone flew in now, they'd see this mess: This mess of someone trying to fix wires together to make a human launcher because he wanted to be wanted; this mess of a guy trying to hold back sobs while failing to make sense of why his head was this way and why he was able to reason out killing his friends.

After all, there had been a reason he started Peace, Love, and Plants.

It hurt—it hurt so so much to see Grian so broken and alone after 3rd Life. It was crushing. He was nearly constantly beating himself up over one thing or another and it had taken Scar of all people to help break him out of it. But seeing Grian's fear-based actions stemming off a game of war, Mumbo decided there would be no blood on his hands. He would let no memories stick with Grian when the two were together.

After a while, the whole "no killing" thing became a joke.

Grian was relatively better, though Mumbo didn't know if that was due to possibly being put in some therapy or if the hermits encouraging helped the case, but he seemed just a bit lighter now.

It had hurt though—hurt a lot—when Mumbo didn't know what to do or what his best friend needed in those first few weeks. He tried to be there, but every group interaction left him feeling out of the loop. Pearl somehow knew his struggles. Scar was there to see his struggles. Impulse was just so friendly and nice and great that even if he didn't experience the situation firsthand, he was also very much so able to help Grian.

What did Mumbo do that was helpful?

What did Mumbo do to be the hero he was pretending to be?

Mumbo wasn't philosophical. He wasn't super smart. He wasn't good with the whole emotions thing. Yet he still could spot the fact that he was insecure and totally didn't trust himself or believe in himself. But really, only an idiot couldn't see that side of him.