Cat & Drew's Whirlwind Adventure

4. Coping

While there aren't a lot of things I'd like to be doing anyway, I've spent an entire week trying to assess how much longer my mom's going to keep me grounded. I think it's more about the intention, no matter how much her helicopter parenting gets under my skin, I don't enjoy the feeling that she's mad at me. Which is extra cool, considering that now I don't even have any peace at home. Between feeling on edge at school, and on edge at home, I've been more in need of a release than ever before—but I'm sure my parents have long disposed of my razor. Lucky me though, apparently I'm not the only one having trouble with parents, it's a very teenage problem I hear about everyday from so many other kids in my class.

Mostly I can tune them out, as I do day after day, but standing in line waiting for lunch there are a hundred different voices that make ignoring them a little more challenging. Inevitably my ears scan through the noise, like stations on the radio, and most of it is nondescript, or uninteresting, until I end up tuning into the one voice I hadn't even realized I was unknowingly searching for. Over a week now since the incident at the shop, and I've been able to fly under the radar since, but every muscle in my body tenses when I spot Chad just a few places ahead of me in line.

He's surrounded by his buddies again, oblivious to the disruption he causes in not only my world, but to those unfortunate enough to be caught up in his orbit. But then, I guess that kind of obliviousness is a luxury afforded to you when you come from money. Old money, to be specific, the Kellers are basically Goodbury elite.

"He's been riding me about it ever since he got back, no joke. I wish him and the step-monster would have stayed in Florida, it's like they think they had to rush back just because summer's over." Chad complains about his parents too.

"Is he really that pissed about it? It's just a ring." One of his friends says.

"Try telling him that, he has this whole fucking speech about how it was his dad's class ring, and he expected me to take better care of it when he gave it to me. I swear, it was the first thing he noticed when he walked in." It's interesting hearing what's important to him, I know I shouldn't be all that surprised, not when Chad has always lived a charmed life. I tell myself it'll be okay, that this isn't like it was at the shop, there are the hundred other voices here to hide me. But I can feel it starting already.

"What are you going to do?" Another of his buddies asks.

"Fuck if I know, I'll probably have to put up flyers or something to get him to shut up. I have no idea where I could've left it, I haven't seen the thing all summer." Chad sighs, frustrated. There's this sick thought that races through my mind, that I'd almost like to stay to hear what else he might say, but for every moment I stand here and listen to this, listen to him pretend like losing a piece of jewelry is his biggest worry, my feet sink further into the sand. It occurs to me that I haven't taken a breath since I noticed him, and when I do I also notice my heart pounding in my chest.

At the risk of being spotted, I cut out of line quickly, ducking my head down as I rush to the door to get out of the cafeteria, out of the building. Outside I find a nice, quiet area instead and press my back to the wall, pinching my eyes shut while I try to talk myself down. After a couple minutes I'm able to stop myself from shaking, yet the pit in my gut is a much tougher dragon to slay. I know what I want, what would help, and an idea springs into my mind now that I have to find a new way to cope.

Troy has been going out of his way all this last week to be extra chatty. Like when we pass in the halls, or when he comes into the shop, and while I can appreciate that he agreed so quickly to keep what I told him between us, I'm still feeling a little awkward about the whole thing. Last time we spoke about it though he seemed like he wanted to help, so I can only hope that's still the case as I travel around to the front of the school, spotting him on the wall much the way I had expected. He's got his guitar tucked under his arm, but he's obviously dealing with another customer right now, so I wait as patiently as I can off to the side until he's finished.