Cat & Drew's Whirlwind Adventure

18. Love Me/Love Me Not

Just as I expected, the interaction between Troy and myself remains as superficial as it has been, despite the extra effort I've made to text him throughout the weekend, assembling a selection of only the finest memes for his consideration. He gets credit for the eventuality of his responses, even if they are somewhat lacking, but they haven't been useful in the slightest in helping me unearth the answer I've resigned myself to finding since Cat brought the concept to my attention. There are all the ways it still doesn't make sense to account for, of course, but they're pitted against this definitive feeling I have rooted deep, the one that maybe explains why I've struggled to figure him out since our newfound friendship sparked up.

Could it really be true though, could it have been right here in front of my face this whole time? Is Troy into me? I obsess over it now as I have all weekend while I get ready for school, every last one of my shirts ripped from my dresser so I can try them on. There are a few good contenders, but I want to look my best, so I refuse to settle until I find the nicest looking one, that makes me feel the most confident. I end up choosing a shirt with a green pattern that has a lower cut, I think maybe it'll bring out my eyes since he noticed them before, and it's his favorite color.

To ensure that everything is truly perfect for my investigation I go through the extra effort of styling my hair, much the same as how I used to wear it before last summer. If I'm really going to do this then I have to do it right, but I'm a bit thrown by the transformation when I steal a final glance in the mirror before going downstairs. Judging by the surprised look my parents exchange I get the sense that they are equally as shook, but neither of them say anything about it, not even when mom drives me to school.

I'm right back to being nervous, but I reassure myself, it's not like Troy knows I'm testing him, I can always abort the plan if I change my mind. To mitigate that chance I hurry to the wall, ignoring how my chest thrums when I see him there, just finishing up with a deal. I don't know why it's so important to find the answer I seek, what am I even going to do with that information once I get it? At the very last second the anticipated doubt begins to cloud my mind, but before I can sneak away he catches me lurking, waving me over when he's finished.

"Drew! What's up? I'd say I haven't seen you in forever, but you were actually in this super weird dream I had the other night. Have you ever thought about going to clown college? Because I would strongly advise against it. Cool shirt, by the way—you look nice." His lips, full and pink, curve up sweetly, and I'm confused by how normal he acts. I anticipated this being much more difficult, but he apparently doesn't need any buttering up as he keeps right on rambling, "today's going to be such a drag, my dad got an email this morning, he had to come in early for this stupid meeting. Supposedly the superintendent was there too, so now all the teachers are cracking down, I don't think I'm going to get away with sleeping through first period. What am I supposed to do without my midmorning nap?"

"That does sound horrifying, but, I might have an idea. If you're interested." I try to be enticing, but all my planning falls apart now that I'm in the thick of it. "With the talent show this Friday I know how busy you must be practicing, but I've kind of missed having you around at work to keep me company. I was thinking maybe we could forget about school and make a day of it instead?"

"You been missing on me, have you Summers?" Troy jokes. If I think about it I guess it's not too surprising; this is who he is, who he's always been. Regardless of what the truth is, that good-naturedness is ingrained in him, it's in his genetic code to be forgiving. And friendly. I wish I could be more like that. When I don't pick up the banter like he expected he adapts, leveling. "I missed you too. Man, you have no idea how ragged I've been running myself practicing, I can't believe my fingers aren't bleeding yet. Needless to say, I am all in for a day of hooky fun, what did you have in mind?"