Cat & Drew's Whirlwind Adventure

24. Violence--the Answer to Everything

All the way to school I can't get the image of Cat out of my head, the utter betrayal she had beheld both Troy and I with when she caught us holding hands yesterday. I guess I'll never know what exactly she had planned for us, or why it was so important that she apparently waited all that time at her locker for me to show even though it should've been clear after the first twenty minutes that I had ditched her. At this point, I'm hard pressed to find it all that concerning either, even if I had been worried about it before. She didn't say a thing after she busted us, just turned around and walked out, and then proceeded to ignore every call and text I sent to her way until after I was supposed to be in bed.

Troy says we shouldn't worry, that she's a big girl and she'll get over it, but he really doesn't even know her remotely if he believes this won't come back around to bite us. Mostly I think he's just happy that the secret's out, yet I can't breathe that same sigh of relief, I'm left tapping my fingers impatiently on the dashboard the entire drive to school while my mom prattles on beside me, blind to the mess I've gotten myself into. Let me be clear, I have no shame about what I've been doing with Troy, but I never wanted to hurt Cat, all I wanted was to buy myself time to figure out how I could make peace between my two worlds.

Time's up though, this is what I get for becoming overconfident in my fledgling ability to lie. When mom drops me off I head to Troy's wall, hopeful that he'll be here with guitar in hand like always to give me that warm smile and tell me again how it'll be okay. He isn't here though, in fact, the entire front yard seems emptier than usual. I catch a group of my classmates speaking excitedly before rushing into school, and right when I begin to grow suspicious I turn just like in a horror movie to discover Cat standing behind me. Despite gracing me with her appearance, I can tell already this isn't an attempt at reconciliation.

"Thought I might find you here, again. What, you don't have anything to say to me now?" Her head is held high, a defense mechanism I can only identify because of those times she's allowed herself to be vulnerable with me. Not today though.

"Where's Troy?" I ask, afraid for a split second that she's taken revenge by making good on her threat. The suggestion, which she must infer, makes her scoff.

"Probably inside with everyone else, I imagine. Is that really what you want to talk about though, your boyfriend? I mean he is your boyfriend right, it's not like you go around holding hands with any of your other friends." She's cocky too, making full use of the moral high ground our sneaking around has provided her. "That surprises me—not the big, dumb hunk, I'd say we're all on the same page about that now—but that you're choosing him again, here, when I thought for sure you'd be giving me every pathetic excuse you tried sending yesterday."

"Pathetic?" The moral high ground I get, and the being angry, but we're still friends. Why is she being cruel? "That's not how I wanted you to find out, Cat, I wanted to tell you so bad but I know how you feel about Troy and I wasn't sure how to. I'm sorry."

"Save it, I didn't come here looking for answers, it's pretty obvious what's going on. What was it really, huh? You thought what, I couldn't take it? Was it really that scary to admit you lied to me?"

"That's a bit of a stretch."

"You told me you weren't interested in pursuing a relationship with anybody, and then the next thing I know I catch you all over some other guy! How is that not a lie?" Cat laughs boldly, angry.

"I told you—," I try to explain.

"And I told you I don't want your excuses. That's not why I'm here." She holds up a hand to silence me. I wish she would listen; I wish she wouldn't let this come between us, but I can read the room enough to tell that anything else I say is only going to make this worse.