Cat & Drew's Whirlwind Adventure

31. Before the Storm

So much is different after the weekend. Monday morning and I'm standing in front of the mirror in my room, having just finished practicing my confession again, and finding that it's easier this time. I'm, in turn, easier on my body, posed before my mirror in only my underwear while I debate on what to wear to school today. I've settled on something with short sleeves. An incredible weekend with Troy bolsters every claim I'd made to him on prom night, and now that I've admitted out loud that I want to live, to reclaim everything I thought I lost, the whole world sings with a humble glow. My situation can't be that bad—my therapy, my trauma, this skin I inspect with newfound appreciation.

In the reflection behind me though, is my closet, and that same skin crawls to see it. Of course, and then there's also Cat. I said I couldn't forgive her, but waking up this morning, realizing that after being so low for so long that I can actually get back to me, has me questioning how true that really is. Finding hope has made me a new man, it just happens to also coincide with Troy and I having sex for the first time, which is how it should be I suppose. I'm glad he insisted we wait until my mind could catch up with my heart and my penis, being with him was made all the better for it. I send him a mushy text so he'll know I'm thinking of him as I dress and go downstairs.

After a seamless breakfast with mom, where she doesn't say much, she takes me to school and demonstrates the same reservation that's out of place for her. Why sweat the small stuff though? From here on out I'm going to carry less and roll with the punches. Once she drops me at school I make for Troy's wall, waiting as I've grown accustomed until he's finished with the deal he's doing with the kid who sits behind me in third period before stepping up with a wave. His face gives in to the same smile he always saves for me, and I wonder if his world, like mine, is any more aglow after last weekend.

"It's probably a good thing one of us still has some money coming in, since I'm super broke all of a sudden. My dad suggested checking online to see if anyone's hiring around Goodbury, so I might do that after school if you want to help." There's not much I'd need help with, but I look forward to his company. This is our routine—the best routine—and as is the norm his smile is followed by the hand he reaches over for mine when I'm close enough. "Did you get my text?"

"Slow to the draw there, Summers. I already responded." He reveals, the routine teasing set to ensue as I use my other hand to check my phone. "No need to worry about cash though, I mean I'll help you look, sure, but wouldn't you rather kick back and enjoy some time off for once while you can? Let me be your sugar daddy."

"Pretty sure you need a few more years on me for that to work." I laugh at his outlandish humor, and per our routine I expect a kiss next, but then he gets distracted. His hand wanders down my arm, where my scar is in plain sight. It's scary how well I'm able to read him, I can tell right away that he's worried about what people might say, and how that might impact me when I'm supposed to be making progress. I say let them talk, he and Cat may not agree on much, but they've both said I don't owe anything to anyone. So who cares what they think? I recapture Troy's hand with a chuckle, "the money's just a consolation prize anyway. It's weird not having anything to do."

"You make a very fair point, and I suppose you can save all that money you apparently don't need to keep me rolling in burgers." His eyes linger on my arm for a bit longer before he returns them to mine, understanding the silent exchange. Now he uses the grip he has to pull me closer instead, as if ready to finally succumb to the eventuality of that kiss. Even with this he has to be a tease though, only staring down at me suggestively. "Tell you what, if you're that hard up for some way to spend the afternoon, I know something else we can do too."