Love and Lust (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Seventeen

It took me two weeks to actually come up with a way to get Adiel to listen to me. No, that was a lie. I had no idea what I was doing, yet I was still standing in front of his bedroom, ready to knock. My knuckles rapped on the door and I waited until it opened, looking up as Adiel stared down at me.

“Can I come in?” I asked softly.

We stood in silence for a few moments before Adiel slowly opened the door further, allowing me to walk past him. He closed the door behind me and stood in front of it, trying to stand as far away from me as possible as I made my way to the bed and sat gingerly on the mattress.

“Do you need something?” he asked, making me pause.

“Not really,” I mumbled, looking down at my hands.

“Then why are you here?” Adiel crossed his arms impatiently, clearly wanting me to leave.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly, my legs drawing up against my chest. Silence filled the room and Adiel sighed, walking past me to the bookshelf and pulling one of the books out, his eyes suddenly widening as a grimace tugged the corners of his mouth.

Ah, he’d found the lube.

Putting the book back and shaking his head as if trying to clear the thought, Adiel selected another one, before moving to sit down in the corner of the room and begin reading it.

I watched, mesmerised as his wings seemed to fold around him comfortably, and relaxed, smiling at him as he turned the page. “I’m sorry,” I said finally, making Adiel look up at me.

“For what?” he asked, returning his gaze back to the pages of his book. I frowned and stared down at the floor again.

“A lot of things, I guess,” I murmured, and Adiel nodded. I paused for a moment. “Is this what you do every day? Stay in here and read?”

Adiel shrugged, his eyes not moving from the words printed in front of him. “Sometimes I go outside with Castus. The books have...a lot of information in them. They’re very helpful.”

I smiled at him and leaned back, now a little less awkward. “And what kind of things have you learnt?” I asked, frowning when the angel closed the book and set it on the floor, peering up at me before he stood.

“I know that me having sex with you isn’t going to turn my wings black.” I gulped, feeling as though I shouldn’t have asked and the regret began to pool in the pit of my stomach.

“You don’t want to know any more on that subject,” I said stiffly, clenching my fists around the covers on the bed.

“I thought so too,” he muttered, walking over to the writing desk and pulling open on of the draws, taking out a leather-bound book that I’d thought I’d never see again. “But I got curious.”

My entire body cringed as soon as I saw it, old and red, and covered in dust, though the front looked like it had had the majority of the dust smeared off it. The book was a journal I’d kept when I’d first left Heaven with Lucifer. If Adiel had wanted to find out anything about how I used to be, that was where he’d see it.