Guilty Pleasure

Page 93

Two and a half weeks later our passports are ready our bags are packed and so is our unofficial tour guide Nikko. We're all excited about Cuba, Julie can't wait to leave I on the other hand am a complete wreck, separation anxiety is kicking in big time. We'll be leaving the twins with Constance while we're gone, I know she'll take good care of them and my mom's even volunteered to help but it's the first time I'll be leaving them overnight, a whole week in fact, when you're pregnant you can read, research and ask everyone and their mom anything and everything about having a baby but nothing, no one can prepare you for the emotional tidal wave that immediately washes over you the minute your babies are born. How much you'll love them, how you'll give your very life for them. I've prepared a list with their schedules ....... Oh God I miss them already! J:"What's wrong Angel?" Me:"Nothing baby I just...." I search his eyes as tears welt up in mine "...... I cant..... I can't leave them it's a whole week Jay what if they get scared or confused they've never been without me I don't want my babies thinking I've abandoned them" he tears up and pulls me into his arms J:"Nina.... Baby no, they would never think that! But I understand, it's how I feel when I leave them and you to go on tour, but when I come home and see your beautiful faces light up it makes it all worth while." Me:"Oh God baby I'm sorry I didn't think" I throw my arms around him and takes his lips, I was so wrapped up in my own emotions that I'd forgotten I wasn't the only one feeling them J:"Don't be my sweet Angel, you're a mom now and it's only natural you'd think of our babies first." Me:"I love you" J:"I love you more"

Our beautiful princess stirs and whimpers from her slumber J:"I got her" he walks over to her crib and scoops her up J:"Morning my pretty girl, did mommy and daddy wake you up sweet angel" she coos and whimpers in his arms. she looks so tiny in his strong arms, she rests her little head on his chest and she smiles at me and melts my heart Me:"Te adoro mi muñeca linda" J:"What does that mean Angel?" Me:"I love you my beautiful doll" I kiss her soft sweet little cheek, J:"And she loves her beautiful mom" I take his lips and walk over to Julian's crib. I scoop up my sleepy little man he stirs but doesn't wake he nestles into my arms and sleeps away Me:"He's getting heavy" J:"It's not surprising the way he eats" Me:"Jareeeed!" J:"I'm just saying baby, he has a healthy appetite....." he bends down to kiss his sweet chubby little cheek "...... We better get going don't want to keep mom waiting" we strap the twins into their car seats and head downstairs to the car.

We're meeting Julie and Shannon at Constance's house for dinner. When we arrive we head straight into the back yard where Constance has already set up a playpen for the twins. They are her pride n joy and like any good grandma she spoils them rotten, but then again they are her first grand-babies and they are twins. She sees us coming and starts gushing over the them. C:"My little Angels are here" Emmy is nestled into her daddy arms her little eyes pulled into a squint trying shield themselves from the sun, she looks at her grandma and smiles C:"Hey sweet pea, and how's my little angel doing" Emmy giggles and coos at Constance as she takes her from Jared, J:"Hello to you too mom" C:"I'm sorry baby, how are you" J:"I'm good mom, you look beautiful by the way" she smiles sweetly at him C:"Jared, I love you but whatever it is NO!" He looks at her like really mom. She once told me whenever the boys wanted something or worm their way out it they'd always try to butter her up, to this day it's an inside joke between them. Julian stirs in my arms at the sound of his grandma voice he sees her and smiles at her with sleepy eyes. C:"Good morning my sleepy little prince, oooh I just want to eat you up ......" She kisses my cheek and Julian's, to me "Hi sweetheart how are you? I still can't get over how much he looks like Jared" Me:"Im fine Mom, thank you" she looks at me and smile sweetly C:"No you're not sweetheart but I can totally understand, they're going to be fine Nina I promise" I knew this and I knew exactly what she meant they're still just babies and they won't remember being orphaned for a week but still my mother's heart breaks a little when I think of separating myself from my beautiful little souls.