I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

Three Year Old Alice's First Thesis

Another lecture, another day. I was in my father's study, listening to their chiding with half-closed eyes.

"Alice! How many times have I told you not to do anything like that anymore!" Father ranted, frustrated, running his hand through his dark navy blue hair.

"My apologies, but-" I tried to explain (even though I really didn't know what to say) before I was cut off.

"Alice! I'm doing my best, so should you." He complained once more, banging his fist on the wooden table. I could see cracks forming on the marble surface. Uh... Father? Do you not see what you're doing?

"Yes, but-"

"Last time, you sleepflew all the way to the library, where you somehow managed to find an ancient lost room hidden in the bookshelves and somehow managed to find out how to open it. Can you not be more careful?!" He roared. I could practically see the marble table screaming in agony as he banged his fist on the table again.

"I-"

"And don't you remember when you were a one year old?! You somehow disappeared for an entire day! We couldn't even find traces of your presence! Then half a day later, you somehow ended up back in your room, sleeping peacefully! DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW WORRIED YOU WERE?! SOMETIMES, WHEN YOU DISAPPEAR, YOU END UP FACE FIRST IN AN ANTIQUE PAINTING!"

I looked away, twiddling my thumbs guiltily. Oh yeah... that time I disappeared for half a day I ended up in my own dimensional space pocket. It took me a while to figure out how to get out...

"Now. Alice Novea, tell me. What did you do?" I could practically see the dark aura emanating from his body. What should I do...? I can't tell him that I reincarnated... that would just be downright weird. So should I say...

"...Well, I created a new magic, obviously." I momentarily forgot how to talk like a noble and just straight up smacked him in the face with my blunt words.

"You... what?" Father looked at me. I couldn't tell if he was exasperated, angry, surprised, or vexed, or if he was all of them, but his weird expression made me drop to the floor, rolling around and laughing like a fucking maniac.

----

"Sigh... what the fuck~?" A three year old child, nay, toddler, with beauty as bright as the sun, was wearing a forlorn expression as she collapsed onto the desk. With her silky silver hair spread across the desk, you could see that she was so, so tired. What could this poor child do? Trapped in the library, the place she loved most, forced to write a one thousand page thesis on body strengthening magic because of the command of her father. That's right. That's me.

Yeah, it's me, okay! I admit, maybe I shouldn't have said that I created a new magic, but it was a spur-in-the-moment kinda thing, alright? I complained to no one in particular. Damn, my hand hurts like hell. I was currently 200 pages into my 1000 page thesis, and my hand was starting to swell, my grip faltering. Damn it! This is so damn annoying! AHHH! After almost giving up, I snapped up in realization. Wait. Can't I just... make a computer?

At age two, I found that if I combined earth and light magic, it created creation magic. I really didn't know how to use it at first, so I just disregarded the magic, but a month and two weeks ago, I read a small little book on the theory of creation magic. Should I try?

I imagined an Apple computer. MacBook Pro... 6 inch screen... CPU... trackpad... keyboard... computer data storage... graphics card... sound card... speakers... and the motherboard... I thought of all the software codes that I would need for a basic computer, then initiated the mana infusion in creation.

[ମୋର ଆବଶ୍ୟକତା ଏବଂ ଇଚ୍ଛାକୁ ଡାକ, ଏବଂ ମୁଁ ତୁମକୁ ମୋର ମନ ସହିତ ପୁରସ୍କୃତ କରିବି] I recited. I felt half of my mana in my heart drain out to an unknown source.

"Geez, it takes this much just to create an Apple computer and a few accessories?" I mumbled, dissatisfied. "Well, whatever. Apple devices have always been expensive, anyway."

I saw the shiny ashen grey Apple computer in front of me and couldn't help but squeal in joy. I hugged and kissed the cold metal like it was a stuffed animal and sang, "Oh~ my precious computer~ muah~ I missed you so~ so~ much~ how can I separate from you for so long~ I'm sorry for abandoning you~"

When I was kissing and hugging the computer in utter joy, Mother walked in and saw the strange spectacle before her eyes.

Her daughter, holding a strange flat metal object that seemed to appear from thin air, hugging it like she was holding onto dear life. "Ummm... Ali?"

(Author's Note: Sorry for the short chapter. I promise, more are coming!)

Ali -- Nickname for Alice

[ପୁରସ୍କୃତ] -- Magic language, only used for high-level magic (BTW: Mid-level magic uses a regular language like [OPEN] and low-level magic can be silent but it is extremely difficult so most people use a language for that too)

"Blah blah blah" -- Japanese language