I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

The Elf Mixuni's First Breakdown

I was lazing around the club room with Theodore. We both knew that Airhead was still outside the door, knocking on it like his life depended on it, but we both chose to ignore it and continued to read. When I finally got fed up and cast silent magic on the doorway, Theodore looked at it in surprise, murmuring, "Well, it looks like that dolt finally left."

I grinned and turned my attention back to my MacBook on my lap, and started typing again. I could see that Theodore was looking at it curiously, but what can I say? He was the one who wanted us not to talk to each other in the first place, I'll just leave him to his own devices and let him wonder.

I was a social recluse, after all. That's just what I do~

I was a shut-in buda, an all-knowing recluse, his curious, dazzling eyes had nothing on me...

"Would you please stop staring?" I said. Oops. I guess he did have something on me. Probably his beauty. I focused my attention back on the screen and realized that the battery was dying. I frowned and pressed my index finger on the screen before imbuing mana into it, then watched as the battery turned to 100% power. I started typing again.

"What... are you doing?" He finally gave into his carnal desire for knowledge and started to pester me.

I frowned. "None of your business." I went back to typing.

He kept staring.

And staring.

And staring.

It seems that he was the knowledgeable, curious type huh. "It's one of my friend's creations." I gave in and gave him a vague answer.

But he kept staring.

And staring.

And... now I can't take it anymore. "Do you know what a CPU is? Uh, what am I talking about, of course you don't." I shook my head and sighed before closing my laptop and approaching the merman in the mini pool. "You wouldn't understand any of this, since it's all modern from Earth. I'll just give a brief overview of the hardware. The majority of the space inside is occupied by a battery. Here is the central processing unit. The LED screen. The camera. Oh, and this is the touchbar. Here is..."

I droned on and on using modern terms until I could see that Theodore felt defeated. Even if you are a genius, if you don't have any prior knowledge of modern tech, I'm afraid you won't understand. I thought before trudging back to my comfy area in the couch, commenting, "And this is from a friend, so if you want more info on it, ask her. I'm average, so even I don't understand what I'm saying." I lied through my teeth before starting to type again.

"And the language on the keys is not my creation. My friend taught it to me." I added before turning my attention back to the keyboard.

After a few minutes of the clacking sounds and a few minutes of suffocating silence, Theodore finally took it upon himself to speak. "...Who is your friend?"

"Just an associate. She jumps across countries and never really stays put. I can never find her if I want to, so you should give up." I told him nonchalantly. Hahahahaha! My acting abilities are extraordinary, as usual. As expected of the great and powerful me, I can lie so smoothly. I felt my nose growing longer and my ego inflating rapidly.

"Man, I'm so good... the best... no one can ever beat me..." I murmured such things by accident, but didn't notice. Theodore gave me a weird look, but I had already stuffed my AirPods on and connected them to my phone, completely oblivious to his discomfort.

----

"Mixu~ come play with me~" Airhead sang.

"No. Fuck off." As expected, its so nice to say no to a high-ranking figure without restraint. When I go back home, I'll miss this freedom. So much. Wait, actually, aren't I pretty unrestrained towards the princes now? Huh, I never noticed. Throwing and kicking Ragdoll and punching Punching Bag just came second nature to me, I guess. Well, it's to be expected. Their names were literally about throwing them and punching them, I could only follow along with it.