I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

Jacob

'Humane'. Such an ironic word. 'To show compassion or benevolence', is what it means. Humans kill animals, take their lives, just for food, and they call their methods 'humane'.

Humans really are so compassionate, to kill animals and eat their flesh and boil their bones for food, aren't they? So merciful indeed.

But aren't humans also animals? They are also a part of the animal kingdom. So, what if I played around a bit, and said, "Humans really are so humane, to kill people in the most merciful way possible."

"So what does 'humane' really mean, then?" Haha, if I said that to them, they'd probably look at me like I was crazy.

Hmmm.

I've been becoming increasingly twisted these days. Was it because all my past weaknesses were splayed out for the world to see? Or was it because I was stuck in a horrific torture instrument for two days and cried my eyes out? Or perhaps it was because of my pervert butler, who became increasingly moody and loud as time went by?

Well, I should think about this later. Right now, I was reviewing papers about the demons' recent... troublemaking with humans. I couldn't help it, sometimes I really wanted to eradicate those pests, even if they were my subjects. It was still hard to make them obey me. Even when I killed their highest ranks (which wasn't a very good way of showing my superiority, I admit, but I wanted to, so I did), apparently, since demons have been so ruthless in the past as well, they didn't seem very fazed or bothered by it, which is why they continued to bug the humans, thus constantly peppering me with annoying files about their merrymaking and socializing.

Damn, if I wasn't so entertainment-crazed, I would have eradicated those vermin long ago.

If I ever go back to Earth, maybe I could see Jacob again to lighten my mood like before...

<Who's Jacob, Master?>

Gah! Shit, that scared me half to death.

The meddlesome butler appeared in front of me, cutting my train of thoughts off, looking at me with a patented mom-expressionless-smile while leaning forward with blazing eyes.

Did I never mention Jacob in my thoughts before? Hmmm, I guess not, huh. Actually, I don't recall mentioning him in my review of internal monologs about my past life, either.

Listening into my thoughts again, aren't you, pervert?

"Hng... don't call me p-pervert, Master~ I, I~"

My face was still passive as I watched him fiddle around and fidget while looking at me with coy eyes. Up to your usual antics, now are you, pervert?

"Ahhh~ Master~"

"Shut up. You've become too loud, again."

Miro drew his lips closer to mine and tried to claim it, but I just used my handy-dandy rolling chair and skid to the other side of the office. Before taking my frappuccino, by the way. Because frappuccinos are awesome, and I need me some frap when Pervert gets all loud. Well, at least he forgot about Jacob.

"Master, hng~ who is, haaah, Jacob?"

Tch. I forgot this fucker could read minds. Just got to concentrate, Alice. Don't think of Jacob. Yes, no... no... not Jacob... the... no! Move your mind to something other than that person... ahhh, pineapple cheesesticks.

Ah, yes, the pineapple of that cheese and stick. Something I always wanted to eat in my past life but did not dare, for it was too much of a gamble, and I was afraid I'd lose my taste buds. The pineapple and the cheesetick. A wonderful, but daring combination for the ages. Mmm-hmm. Yup yup.