I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

Alice's First Cut

(Author's Note: Looong chapter, guys. To make up for the last one.) 

"Dear cousin, why did you come to visit my abode? Did Father let you in?" He quizzed as we sat in the parlor room to talk. In the face of royalty, I forgot to keep up my dull face and smiled brilliantly by habit, earning the surprise of the airhead Killian sitting next to me.

"Yes, indeed. Have you not known?" I responded before sipping my tea gracefully. Since Xacali decided to play along with the 'game' that the supposed 'con-artist' was whipping up, I happily agreed. After all, if there was one thing I learned in society, where foxes and snakes ran rampant across the frosty desert, looking for weak, unsuspecting prey, it was bullshiting. And this game needed a lot of it.

Killian was officially scared-out-of-his-ass right now at the one eighty change in me during the span of three short minutes.

"Oh dear, I must ask Father about this later. After all, I never wanted to miss the arrival of my dearest cousin, now would I?"

"Ohohoho, of course not."

Hr looked perplexed. He was probably thinking, 'Why is this con-artist so calm when I mention the King of Elves?'. Well, my answer to your question would be, 'Because that King you speak of already knows. And even if he did not, how could I be scared of a man-baby like him?'

Anyway, I digress. Shall we get back to the conversation at hand?

"Cousin, however did you enter the palace gates without permission? Since no one notified me of your arrival, and Father must not have seen you..." He trailed off, K.O.-ing me in battle.

"Geh!"

"Geh, indeed. ...Wait, what?"

Awww shit how am I supposed to answer that fucking question why why why am I just supposed to tell him I accidentally broke the century or millennium whatever old barrier and then reconstructed it no right damn damn damn should I tell him that the king did stuff but won't that be a bit much for a distant relative ahhh and if he went to his father to verify then that man-baby might slip up and say something damn shit think calm thoughts Alice you've got this... My mind froze and thousands of thoughts rushed past my head.

While I was inwardly self-destructing, Killian was on the verge of dying of confusion. "...Geh?"

----

"As my cousin, you must be magically literate, correct? After all, the elves are known for their high magic aptitudes, specifically the royal family."

"Yes, of course, your highness."

"Would you care for a duel? I would like to know the full extent of your prowess."

Damn you I'll show you just how 'magically literate I am' damn doofus I'll kill you before you have the chance to squeal 'mommy' and send you plunging down the depths of hell how dare you look down on me motherfucker son of a bitch oh wait but the queen wasn't a bitch so I guess you're just a bitch yourself damn dog I'll kill you and castrate you pulling out your damn balls slowly to make sure you never walk again even in hell hahahahaha wait Alice keep yourself calm if you don't you'll expose yourself idiot ahhh damn let me hit 'em across the continent no Alice stay...

"...I am... very sorry, your highness... but because you are a direct... descendant of... the royal family, I'm afraid... I... w-won't... be able to... b-b-beat... you..." I gritted my teeth and forced out those words. My resolve shook over that single sentence. But I was in complete control of my aura now since my last outburst. I should be fine, it'll be easy to keep myself in check, as long as that damn prince Xacali doesn't say anything about women.