I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

Invincible Statue of Karaoke

"Be mine."

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How did I get into this situation?

One minute I used illusion magic to make my beastman form go to a mer version of Alice, and the next someone kabedon-ed me to a wall.

Okay, so I kinda skipped out on a few parts of it, but that's the gist of it.

After playing around in the city in my new Alice-looking mer form, I realized that there was a ball being held in the coral palace. Pretty coincidental... is what I thought at the time.

I was wrong. It was not coincidental. Not coincidental at all.

That night, I entered the palace. I was in awe as I entered the entryway and saw the magnificent marble pillars and open waterspace. I was with the other mers streaming into the ballroom, following the crowd. I got there and was amazed, as expected. The ball started, and the ballroom was filled with all sorts of foods. Lobster, cod, whale... it seems that it was all sea-themed. I guess they aren't welcome to land-dweller food? Interesting.

I was happily swimming my way towards the buffet table, like the food connoisseur I was, when a tall, totally jacked merman stood - or, I guess, floated - in my way. Huh? He swam me into a corner and pressed me onto the wall.

And then we have this situation.

"Be mine."

----

No, even after summarizing the chain of events again, I still don't understand the situation at hand. What was going on? No normal person goes and randomly takes a girl and says, 'be mine'. It's just... it just doesn't... match with any behavioural patterns I've ever known in my life.

This is what I thought until a certain comment popped into my head. Wait, they did have strange customs in this kingdom. And then suddenly everything made sense.

So this is like a karaoke club, and then there will be merpeople randomly singing up front, and we can take turns, and there is actually such a thing called a microphone in this kingdom, and there's this once-in-a-lifetime prize that singers can win that will make them invincible, so this guy wants me to be his partner and dance for him, then he'll try to take all the credit, and then HE'LL go take the prize for himself, and then leave me in the dust, and then turn invincible, right? Uh, how rude.

"Let me take the prize. If you take all the credit, then I'll kill you." I told him promptly.

He looked at me then swam away after hearing that statement. Ha! So I was right! He wants that trophy all to himself, doesn't he! I came to a conclusion and swam away while huffing indignantly.

"Wow, what a thing to say! I've never heard that one before... pfft."

I turned around and looked at the spunky person who made that rude comment behind my back. Th-Theodore? I was beyond surprised now. First, a random jock tries to extort me from the invincibility prize, and next, a spunky, not dull-faced Theodore comes to me with a smirk.

This was another dimension, right?

❅ ❅ ❅ ❅

S-spunky Th-Theodore! I looked at the Theodore-doppelganger-from-another-dimension in wonder. What happened? Why was that Theodore, my comrade-in-arms, my fellow shut-in... spunky?

I rubbed my eyes and looked at him again. His tail was blue with green undertones, with bioluminescent patterns adorning it delicately. I've heard that those patterns can only belong to people with the ancient bloodline, although I don't know much about it because of how closed-off the Mer Kingdom is.

After thinking this, my interest was completely piqued. A spunky Theodore with a spunky, mysterious tail in a mysterious, magnificent kingdom. It was like my curiosity levels went red then broke the thermometer. I think it also broke my preparing-to-go-back-on-vacation common sense as well, because when I finished pondering a strange situation, I blurted out something very random.

"Give me the invincibility medal before I burn your neck, fishtail braid."

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(Author's Note: This is 'Spunky Theodore's' POV. Enjoy!)

Let me go home. I wanna go home. Let me sleep. I wanna eat fish. This is so boring. I wanna sleep. I thought while wandering around the banquet hall with numerous mers following me. Why did Dad make me attend this god-forsaken mixer anyway... I thought he hated this kind of thing...

I knew that by my age, I should already have a nara, but did I really have to attend this in the palace?

I kept my persona of friendliness on and greeted the girls coming to me, while trying to stay engaged in the boring conversation. Mixuni was much more fun... she actually talked about interesting topis... let me out of here... I thought glumly.

Maybe I should have just accepted one of the marriage proposals and get my so-called 'love life' over and done with. But then Dad would kill me if he found out. This is such a pain.

After dealing with all of the females surrounding me, I moved to one of the most empty hallways I knew to get away. And there I saw a silver-haired red-eyed female being smacked into a wall by a very intense courting man. Goodness. I thought, watching the skit in boredom. If you want to court someone, you don't have to slam them onto a wall. That's just rude.

I half-heartedly watched the small skit in front of me. The female finally started talking. "Let me take the prize. If you take all the credit, then I'll kill you."

What a strange thing to say in a palace mixer. I wonder if she's okay in the head.

That's probably what the man thought too, as once she said those words, he scurried away like a rat.

I looked at the somewhat fuming girl and looked at the spot where the guy used to be with dull, uninterested eyes. Still, I approached her. For whatever reason. I really don't know why, but she had a strange familiar aura around her.

"Wow, what a thing to say! I've never heard that one before... pfft." I said in a tone I still wasn't used to. I swished my tail and approached the crazy girl.

"...The Spunky Theodore no. 1! Attack of Titans..." I heard her mumbling nonsense, but heard her call my name. Theodore. I do know this girl... from where? I pondered.

"Hahahaha. I saw your little display over there. Trying to scare him away, huh?"

"The Spunky Theodore... no, he's a doppelganger like Flash..."

"..." What? "...What's a doppelganger?" My curiosity won over, as usual, it was to be expected. I did go to a land-dweller school because of my 'curiosity' after all.

"A doppelganger! You know, like Killer Frost! Wait... but that's more of an alter ego... never mind."

"...?" This girl really is so crazy.

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(Author's Note: Alice's POV.)

After I finished coming to a conclusion about Theodore's crazy spunkiness, I finally knew what was going on. So, apparently, the palace hosts balls every week to help mers find their 'nara' whatever that means. Essentially, a mixer. Or a mass date. In any case, that means there isn't a karaoke championship. What a shame.

Spunky Theodore watched me depart back into the ballroom. Well then it's only natural that someone kabedon-ed me to a pillar. I'm just too damn beautiful for the world to see *cue haughty hair flip*. A goddess among ugly mortals. Haaah, it's so hard being me. I thought while earnestly and seriously shuffling my way to the snack table.

Ooh, lobster. Don't mind if I do~ And so, despite my revelation that this was a mixer, for the rest of the night, I spent my time eating seafood and being courted by men.