Honestly, I don't give a rat's ass about anything from the storyline. Those fucking capture targets are so damn stupid, falling for an idiotic birdbrain heroine. Actually, they probably only fell in love with her for their egos. Why should I ever fe...
I was currently in the process of breaking the overly grand door down to confront the Devil.
"Demon King! Your reign ends today!" Hollem announced, pointing his longsword towards the horned black throne, which was very far, if I may add.
I mean, what was the point in drawing out your sword and wasting your energy on holding it up if you weren't going to use it to begin with? Stupid. I get that you're the hero and all, you want to be dramatic and sound all heroic, but isn't that a little unnecessary?
"Hahahaha. You think you can defeat me? I am the great..."
I mean, was there really a point in saying 'your reign ends today' to begin with? I mean, come on, guys. Let's be honest, it's cheesy and kind of just kills the mood, you know.
"You will never succeed! I, the Hero, will stop you and put an end to your..."
Dude, really, you already said end in your last speech bubble, no need to say it again. It makes me feel bad for you, and kind of makes you sound stiff, like you rehearsed it beforehand. Actually, did you rehearse it before? Is that what all the late night hollering was about? God, what are you, a child?
"Many warriors have tried, all have failed..."
Dude, I know I'm living in a cliche light novel right now, but do I really have to suffer through this absolute cringiness? And Demon King, dude, just turn around already. I get it, you want to be all 'enshrouded in mystery' with that cloak and those feathers on top but you've been in that annoying position for, like, ten minutes. And you leaning back like you're relaxed really doesn't help either, from my perspective, it looks like you're taking a whiz.
My face was zoned out, completely detached from the boring monolog and drawing of swords for no reason. I think I was drooling? Oh whatever, I don't really care about my appearance. It's kind of boring to refocus anyways, let's just continue to doddle at the back of the party.
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But seriously, when was that guy gonna turn around and show himself already? Really, I'm starting to imagine a stream of yellow liquid flowing down the stairs and covering me in a smelly odour. Yeah, that's right, Demon King, that's what I'm thinking about right now while you're attempting to strike a cool pose.
Oh! He finally turned around. Oh! He's naked. Oh? He's naked? Oh...? Why is the Demon King naked? Oh... he must be an exhibitionist. Oh...! I should get him a therapist. Oh... now I wanna kill him.
".........Bob!"
.........Bob?
What?
I'm sorry, I was tuning out the ridiculous monologues coming from the throne. Sorry, Bob, you said? What's going on? Bob is the Demon King's name?
Bob, the ridiculous demon which was right now clad in only a gaudy black feather cloak, is the Demon King.
Huh. I take back my 'cliche novel' thing. Things just got real.
