I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

First Time Skiing?

It all started with when I finally pushed through the crowd of crude boys and rescued my pure princess, Al- I mean, my pure angelic brother, Al, who was stuck in his tower- I mean, between two musclehead idiots. 

Remember when I was pondering on whether or not to start winter early? Well, I managed to come to a conclusion.

One of my favorite things to do on Earth was skiing.

I haven't done it in this world yet.

So why not give it a shot, right?

So I made a mountain turn to Winter, and dragged Al with me (after separating myself from the hoard of stupid boys, who, sadly, are the only ones who I can call my friends).

All I had to do was recreate some skis and some polls, right? No biggie.

WELL THAT'S DEAD WRONG.

For starters, I didn't know how I was supposed to create all mountain or powder skis. What kind of plastic was needed? Shock absorption? Shape? Size? I knew how to recreate an Apple computer because I actually studied in that area, but skis are not something I ever thought to be interested in. (A/N: Oh my god. Seriously, for this subject, creating skis, sorry Alice, can't give this one to you. Because then no one would properly respect the process of ski tuning. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A PAIN IT IS TO WAX IT? OR SHARPEN IT? AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE BASE OF YOUR RACE SKI RUNS OVER A ROCK? I'M GONNA-)

All I could come up with was two wooden floorboards with the front and the back pointed upwards, which kind of reminded me of elf ears, for some inexplicable reason.

Hahaha! Problem solved. (A/N: ...Ali, I love you girl, but dude if you say that one more time I'm seriously gonna-)

Poles... All I really need are wooden sticks, huh? I mean, I could use a unibody aluminum chassis made for computer casing, but I doubt that'll be much help. Yosh, let's just go with wood! Ahahaha, I'm a fucking genius. (A/N: What am I even doing with myself... this torture is...)

And... I guess that's all, right?

Yeah, let's get started!

(A/N - Bit of an Author rant here - don't mind me...
Me: DUDE ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW YOU COMPLETELY FORGOT THE BINDINGS AND WTF IS THIS SHIT YOU CALL THAT 'POINTY ELF EAR THING' A SKI IMMA FUCKING KILL YOU ASSHOLE IT TAKES ME LIKE FOUR HOURS TO TUNE MY GS SKIS AND YOU JUST WALTZ IN AND SAY, OH BOY I CAN'T RECREATE A SKI WITH CREATION MAGIC SO I'M JUST GONNA GO AHEAD AND MAKE SOMETHING THAT IS AN INSULT TO ALL SKI RACERS, YUP, THERE'S NO PROBLEM HERE! OH THERE'S A PROBLEM MISSY, A BIG PROBLEM-
Reader: Dude, just move on, move on and get along with it. We all want to read, okay? Just fuck off.
Me: OH I'M JUST GETTING STARTED DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH EFFORT GOES INTO CUSTOMIZING BOOTS TO FIT YOUR FEET?! I MEAN-
Reader: WE GET IT SO JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME READ GODDAMNIT!
Me: ...Yes, I understand... I'm sorry...
Reader: Hmph, as you should be.
Me: BUT SERIOUSLY-
Reader: JUST. FUCK. OFF!
*the scenario in which will probably never happened but I still imagined it in my head for some strange reason*)

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In my past life, I was an advanced skier. Not, like, at a racer's level, since that requires a lot of work. (A/N: Okay, one final comment, then I'm done. OKAY SO I KNOW SHE'S A PRODIGY BUT I JUST CAN'T OKAY I. JUST. CAN'T. BECAUSE IF I MAKE IT SOUND EASY THAN I'LL MAKE MYSELF FEEL LIKE I'M A PILE OF WORTHLESS SHIT okay I'm done.)