I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

A Girl and a Period

The way to the next forest was tense. The party members were eying each other warily, trudging along in their own little ways, while I skipped along with them, whistling a little tune, still merry from this morning.

...That's what you're thinking, right?

WELL YOU'RE DEAD WRONG, ASSHOLE. I'M NOT HAPPY, I HATE MY LIFE, AND I WANT EVERYONE TO JUST DIE AND ROT IN HELL.

You wanna know why? Six. Words.

PERIOD. BLOOD. CRAMPS. PISSED. WANNA KILL.

Yes, even I, the great and powerful prodigy of the century, villainess of the book I Shine For You, creator of physical enhancement, the katana, magic computers, etc., the most stunning girl in all dimensions with a heart of gold, Alice Enthu Novea, the heir to the house of Novea, cannot escape the horrifying clutches of a period. It is literally the only time where a single tap on the shoulder might aggravate me so much I'll kill anyone who touched me.

...Well, maybe not the only time. I mean, I do get pretty grumpy when someone wakes me up. And... I guess when I just have off days, I can be pretty annoyed, too... plus that time when- ...you get the point.

Anyway, back to the point. I am on the first day of my period. I have to sit on a horse which makes me bounce every single second (I can't fly since I'm supposed to be just a saintess). I have to deal with other humans. I have cramps. And, like I said before, I WANNA KILL EVERYONE IN THIS DAMN WORLD. ESPECIALLY the boys who say that they've got it tougher, and that their period is SO MUCH WORSE. FUCK THOSE DAMNED BASTARDS, WHILE THEY'VE GOT ITTY-BITTY MOOD SWINGS NOW AND THEN, I HAVE BLOOD LEAKING OUT OF MY BUTT.

"Shuri, are you okay?"

"Fuck off before I rip your sorry dick out of your damned body."

"...Touchy." I sent a glare filled with murderous intent, and Henrik hastily added, "A-and I so get that! H-hahahaha, Shuri, you are a barrel of laughs. I-I'm just gonna go now..." He patted Penny in her horse form and they both galloped far away from me.

With a permanent scowl etched onto my face, I looked forward and continued to move at a fast pace to the next destination, hoping to stop soon so I could go into my space into the bathroom (luckily, I knew the general design of tampons so I could recreate it).

"Shuri~ what's up~?" Geo jumped down onto my horse and looked at me with teasing eyes. "Oooh, looks like Henrik was scared off~"

"You seem a bit grumpy lately~ even though the prank was a success, I wonder~"

"I don't give a rat's ass about whatever you say, so just move your shitty face out of mine and get the hell off my horse."

"Okay~ bye~" Just like that, Geo jumped off and proceeded to jump from tree-to-tree once more. Xencrynn looked down at me from above in his little 'superman flying position' and shuddered, moving down towards Hollem.

"Have you noticed? Shuri isn't her usual self." Crynn whispered, but I could hear.

"She's just showing her true colors. This is her usual self, dumbass." Hollem shot back.

"Ahhh... that makes sense. She was always a sadistic girl under all of that childish-"

I was too pissed and had too many cramps to deal with them right now. I muttered an intermediate gravity incantation under my breath and Hollem and Crynn both were thrown to the ground.

----

We arrived at the forest. Xencrynn began to prepare himself and started hollering orders, but I was too pissed to deal with the noise right now. Too. Damned. Pissed.

So I did the most logical thing anyone could do. I forced them all down to the ground, threatened them, and said if they entered the forest before I said so they'd be killed by my hand. To be fair, that is totally a normal thing to say when a girl is in the midst of their period and just wants everyone to shut the hell up or they'll burn the world down.

I entered the forest and used physical enhancement to speed around it, killing any demons I came across with two slashes with Glowy Sword (which I produced from my space, it was surprisingly effective because of it's demonic origins). If that didn't work, I'd use fire magic and burn them all alive. A few plumes of violet fire could be seen from outside the forest. I ended up burning a fourth of the vegetation down, but that's fine. After five minutes of blowing off steam, I released my light magic spell and a blinding ray of brightness encased the forest. I trudged out of the forest holding my aching belly and glared at the people looking at me absentmindedly.

I disregarded their imploring stares. "Let's go. Before I set you all on fire." I growled.

(Author's Note: Shitty period. Ahhh I wanna kill everyone. Damn it hurts...)

----

(Author's Note: Penny's POV ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶ ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆.)

I watched as Shurian entered the forest and her presence disappeared, as usual, while contemplating her attitude. She must have her period. Girls act like that when they're on their period. Xencrynn approached me and looked at the blank spot where Shuri used to be.

"What was going on with her today? She seemed as pissed as when we woke her up that one time." He commented.

"Tsk, tsk, to be young and in love-" I shook my head with a melancholic smile on my face.

"But I'm not in love?"

"-You are simply too naïve, young padawan, you know nothing about the female temperament when subjugated to a special kind of torture method that Mother Nature herself is involved in." I put on a serious face when I said so.

"Mother Nature?!"

"Yes, indeed, the supreme being herself."

"Why- what-"

"Do not fret. I have all the answers you seek."

"What is it?! What kind of curse did Mother Nature put on you?!"

My expression morphed to a grim one. I tilted my face downwards. "Periods."

(Author's Note: Dun-dun-dun...)