I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

The Past to the Present

"You fucker. You're so weak, yet you try to lecture me on such trivial matters." My eyes gleamed with ire, disgust, and my aura continued to expand. If it wasn't for the barrier surrounding the palace that was close to me, my aura would have spread farther and farther out, along with my killing intent.

"'Women should just be obedient and quiet', you said. How idiotic are you?" I flew down to wear the injured knight was.

"I thought that this world completely eradicated sexism and racism, but I was wrong. There are still scumbags like you." I grabbed him by his armor and punched him so hard that there was a crater around him from the force.

"Selen." I growled. An archmage with long silver hair, like me, appeared in front of me. When was the last time I called him out from his tower? At least two years...

"Oh dear, whatever happened?" He asked in a jovial tone, pointing towards the bruised and broken knight in front of me.

"Can you please clean this mess up?" My dark overbearing voice was still not gone.

"Then you will let me...?" He looked at me with his shiny, expectant eyes.

I took deep breaths of air, and slowly, my aura began to retract and I managed to suppress it again. "Yes. You can nitpick my magic all you want with your beloved assistant Gerald." I smirked and started flying again.

"DON'T MAKE FUN OF HIS NAME! IT'S CHARMING! THE NAME IS BEAUTIFUL!" He hollered as I flew further away. I rolled my eyes and chuckled over his childishness. He's an old man yet he still can talk like that, huh.

If someone had heard me, they would have been speechless from my hypocrisy.

----

I hate being powerless. The fright, the weakness, the dominance of my enemy, the anger that I can't fight back, all of it. When I feel that sucking feeling, I want to curl up into a little ball, in my own world, and stay there forever. But then I think, 'Won't that just prove that I am, in fact, weak? That I can't survive if I'm on my own?' I get angry. I want to curl up and leave. I want to cry. Then I get angry again.

The endless cycle of fear and anger is what makes me want to grow more powerful. The strife that exists in my heart gives me a sense of reluctance and grit.

----

When I was in high school, I was a white lotus. I used my weak-looking physique as a way to take advantage of others while I used my family's power from the shadows to eliminate anyone who bothered me.

But every time I heard, "Don't worry, I'll protect you. You don't have to be afraid anymore." from one of my toy's lips, an insatiable fear and resentment built in my heart. I tried to reassure myself. I tried to think the reason I was so weak is to take advantage of others, and I'm actually the strongest here.

But I couldn't shake it. I did care about what others thought of me. I never wanted to be seen as weak. I wanted to release an air of confidence as I walked. I wanted to breathe fire on my enemies and watch them burn to ash in public. I wanted to showcase my elegance.

So I did. I threw away that white lotus image. I showcased my talents, and used all my power to get rid of my clumsiness and meek image. But in the end, all people did in response was abandon me. Their disgust and disappointment shown for all to see.

"Tch! I thought she was cute. Turns out she was just another slut."

"What a waste of time."

"She's so stuck up. I can't believe I wanted to protect her."

I collapsed. At that moment, I collapsed. My air of confidence was all fake to begin with. The reason I kept my image as a timid girl was to protect myself from people breaking my barriers and uncovering what was inside. I cried. I cried and cried and cried. What good did that do for me? There was no pity for me anymore. I just looked weak. I looked stupid. And that was what made me piece together the broken pieces.

Soon, I came to a realization. What was the point in listening to their opinions? If they were beneath me, if they were, in fact, weaker than me, then what was the point? What was the point in anything?

My broken confidence was something I never should have had. If I just realized how great I was, then I wouldn't have to deal with it.

I smiled once again and walked out of my room. I was finished. I was done. I will never show weakness again. I'd wipe out all of the people who made me feel this way.

And I did.

And it felt AMAZING.

----

When I arrived at Tsinghua University as a foreign exchange student at age fifteen (I attended early), I instantly became the queen of the school. I received many confessions of love. I declined them all. No one would become good enough for me, after all, so why bother?

College came and went. Soon after, I inherited my family's conglomerate, since I was the sole heir of the Takahashi Family. I moved out of the conglomerate up and up, raking in profits and forging connections with others. I wiped out three of our enemies. They said I played dirty, that what I did was illegal, but so what?

I won, didn't I?

Isn't that all that matters? Isn't it?

I was stupid.

If I wanted to feel powerful, then why did I still feel empty? I still feel weak... I still wanted more.

I wanted to dominate the business world, but Lady Karma must have hit me.

Literally hit me. I mean, a truck hit me, I guess that's different, but you get my meaning.

And I died.

It's good that I didn't really have much of a connection with Earth. My parents were not loving, but they still cared for me. I didn't really have a friend, come to think of it. There was nothing left for me there, besides from a conglomerate and a few bucks.

----

When I decided to live as Mixuni Sema, I didn't think I'd ever feel so horrid.

So weak.

When that silly prince Airhead was talking about Earth magic up on the roof and how he thought it was impressive for me to do such a thing with a common element, I felt powerless all over again.

I finally realized that my insecurities of weakness were still existent, just hidden. My temper became violent after I thought about this. I was still insecure. I was still hesitant. I wasn't confident in myself. All of my bragging was me trying to reassure myself.

I continued to deny this fact until winter break. I'm not like I was before. I'm too powerful to be. Yeah, that's right.

But when that beautiful brat guard said those words, and even dared to mention women and blatantly announce his belief of gender supremacy, I snapped.

My aura exploded. It was the first time it truly got out of my control. Although I told myself no, you have to stay calm, all that was circulating in my head was, 'This fucking nerve! Who does he think he is?! So damn annoying. I'm going to kill this shitty guy, and show him what being 'hurt' really means. Who cares about the consequences, I'll just kill anyone who tries to stop me.'