I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

Kidnapped?! I'm So Scared... Not

Aaaaaand... I'm kidnapped.

Dude, what are you thinking? Of course it's of my own volition. If I really wanted to, I could just blow up everything in a second and leave. Or rip out their dicks and torture them to death. It's not that hard. I can't believe you had doubts about me.

If you noticed my tone, though, then bravo. The reason I'm feeling so eye-rolly right now is because this is just so cliche it's sad. I mean, kidnapping the 'beautiful, powerless, and kind' saintess is just something you'd see right out of a book! Oh right, I'm on Book Two now, and I replaced Aveline as the saintes

s of the story. Never mind, this makes perfect sense now.

I looked at the dim cracked gray walls and sighed in boredom. Honestly, the whole reason I let myself get kidnapped during my pee-pee break in the first place was because THIS JOURNEY IS SO DAMN BORING, I thought this would be a nice change of pace.

But no. All I'm doing right now is being bound to a wet pillar, waiting for people to come into this god-forsaken room.

I heard a faint click-clacking of boots and gruff voices approach. Finally, the circus clowns are here. Yeah, I don't know why I call them circus clowns, but it just seems right this time.

The thick metal door creaked open and two large figures slipped into the room with loud thumps. "This the girl?" Asked the one on the left. The light coming from outside made it hard for my eyes to adjust, but I could still tell he looked kind of like one of those 'arrr' pirates I'd see on TV now and then.

"Yeah." The one on the right responded before slinging his arm on the other's shoulders. Oooh! Camaraderie! I thought. Honestly, I'd have thought they'd be fighting to see who could sell me by now. Interesting. So they're partners in crime?

"The so-called 'saintess' Shurian Hoven. Heard that the Novea girl herself picked her out." Pirate Guy let out a chuckle and moved forward to pinch my chin and lift up my head. "Ain't that right, girl?"

I nodded obediently, the gag preventing me from speaking (of course, I could probably use air magic to figure something out, but that'd be no fun).

"Hahahahaha! You sure are a beauty, even when you're all ruffled up." Exclaimed the guy on the right (who was now my least favorite, he just looked like a normal bandit) while examining my features. It felt like he was de-clothing me with just his look. I resisted the urge to blow him up, and instead thought to myself, Why, thank you for your compliment.

"Do ya want to play with the goods before selling her off? I've never had a black-haired girl before!"

"Ahahahahaha! We'll always think the same, won't we! Ahahahaha!" The other replied. I saw him drawing out a dagger from his belt and pointing it at Pirate Guy's back. Oooh! And the drama starts!

Pirate Guy suddenly pivoted over and dodged the attack. His previously excited and pleased expression was replaced with a cunning smirk. "You think I didn't know? Ha! Filthy swine. I knew you were trying to take the goods for yourself and run away with the gold."

Gasp! Plot twist! I watched their fight in earnest, completely forgetting that I was the 'expensive goods', or that I was currently bound and gagged.

"You betrayed me. Just for a few sacks of gold. Does our brotherhood mean nothing to you? All those years?" Yeah, does it? How dare you betray Pirate Guy!

"Ha! Stupid. You really think I did it because I wanted to?" So our- I mean, their friendship was a lie?! I was appalled at the development. Pirate Guy widened his eyes which started to blaze in anger, but Other Guy didn't give a damn. He ran forward and plunged the dagger into Pirate Guy's heart.